The Weekend MisAdventures of Ashley Robin

Hey Everyone,

So I had the hellish weekends to end all weekends. I'd never, in my life, experienced so much drama in such a short time period. First, I have to explain why the events on Saturday even happened in the first place.

I was out and about the other day, and my ex boyfriend Sam* called me. Not totally abnormal, but he was asking me around what time I'd be home. Even when we were together, I never checked in with him like that...but I told him. After I'd been home about an hour, I hear a knock at my front door. I hear another knock, and I get up and answer it. When I answered, there was no one there...but when I looked down, I saw a basket with a little kitten, food, a dish, a harness and a blanket inside. The kitten was all black with green eyes and he meowed at me. I picked it up and saw the note which read- 

I saw this little kitten at a shelter and after seeing how friendly and cute he was, immediately thought of you and your struggle to find a brother for Hughie. Let's go out sometime. Enjoy him. Love- Sam.

Well, if you guys know me, I'm a sucker for cute, friendly kittens. Hughie is a pure example. I decided to take him(who I've named Samson, Sammie for short) to the vet before I introduced him to Hughie...lucky I did, because he's got a nice chest infection that Hughie could catch. So, after putting him on antibiotics, I've had to keep them separate. Hughie's seemingly curious about this kitten, and is being very much the big brother, playing with him through the crack of the door and sitting outside the door, keeping him company. It's been so very cute and endearing.

This is Sammie to the left. He's all black and his eyes are green and he's very energetic. He's got major spunk. He's being isolated right now, because of the chest infection, but as soon as I give him the last of this antibiotic (before the end of the week), he'll be playing with Hughie and having a good time.  I'm looking forward to it, because Hughie's needed a brother for so long. 

This is Hughie in Sept. 2006, right about the same age that Sammie is today. So, I'm a sucker for the cuteness of kittens. I know. Part of me is terrified that I'm gonna end up being that "Crazy Cat Lady", but I doubt it. I know I'll always have Hughie in my life for as long as he lives, (forever and ever). I don't know about Sammie, which is a terrible thing to say, but I've had Hughie for over a year, so I'm a little partial. 

Anyway, so how does all this lead to my crazy weekend? Well, Sam and I had already been talking because of his gift, so we decided to spend some time together to talk about things. I know in my heart of hearts he's gonna start asking about a reunion, but I figure one step at a time...because let's face it, although I will always love him, I will not reunite with him. Period. Why? Well, that's another blog. Anyway, he got tickets from his job to go to this dinner/theater place for a 130am showing of The Dark Knight. Basically, it's a movie theater that shows full-length feature films and they offer drinks and dinner with the movie. Kind of like this place in Illinois, but nowhere near as good. 

*Just so everyone is aware, this is a disclaimer. The following experience did not happen at Hollywood Blvd Movie Theater in Woodridge, which is the facility whose website is linked above, as well as this picture to the left. This place is really cool for a unique experience, check it out if you get a chance.

Okay, so we get to the theatre after driving for almost two hours, and find out that not only does the theatre need a bigger parking lot, the people who gave Sam the tickets needed to clarify what town the actual theater was in. On his navigational system in his car, we'd keyed in the wrong town, which lead to the marathon drive there. We barely got there in time to order our drinks and find a good seat, but luckily, the owner saved us a prime spot, a cushy red love seat with a big table in front of it, centered right in the middle of the action. So, we sit down. The boo for the evening (LOL, what I called him in our dating days) orders a jack and coke and a patty melt with fries, while I order a long island iced tea and a chicken quesadilla with salsa, guacamole and sour cream before the lights go down. We wait for our food, and while watching this movie, I start to wonder about what he's thinking...if he thinks this whole night is a date, if he thinks we'll reunite, if he thinks Sammie somehow entitles him to sex...all kinds of random thoughts flooding my brain like crazy, you guys. 

So, the food comes. Something in my heart told me to look at the food before we ate it, and when I did using the soft light at the table so that guests could see their meal, my chicken quesadilla was actually pork (I don't eat pig) and Sam's patty melt looked horrible. The fries were great, but the meat was an actual gray color. Sent it back. Came out again, this time the tortilla on my quesadilla was burnt, not even cajun-burnt, but just black as sh*t, and his patty melt looked dry as chips. We sent it back again. I figured third time was a charm, right? WRONG! The quesadilla cheese smelled weird, and they made Sam's patty melt without the patty. So, we noshed on fries and watched the movie. It was funny, texting each other back and forth about the terrible food and service, since we couldn't speak to one another during the movie. 

After the movie ends, we leave and walk back to the car. When in the car, Sam asks me to put in a search for nearby 24 hour diners, and I'm messing with the navigation system, while he's laughing at me because I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Suddenly, I hear a voice say, "Get out of the car." Well, I thought it was the police or something like that speaking to someone they'd pulled over, but instead, it was a young man, holding a knife up to Sam's face. Imagine my surprise. I was shocked and chagrinned, to say the least. Number one, because it's a friggin Chevy Corvette... but also because we're in Bumblef*ck, Illinois. No one gets held at knifepoint through a window in Bumblef*ck, IL!  

So, I'm half-scared, half drunk from drinking without having any real serious food to eat, which caused me to take way too long with the navigation, and then suddenly, I feel guilty. Just as I go to unlock my car door to get out, because the last thing I want is to see my ex-boyfriend who I'll always love get his throat slashed. Meanwhile, Sam's thinking about my safety and his car, and says, "No", while putting his hand on mine, as if to say, "don't get out of the car". So I stay there, and just as I move my hand away from the unlock button, I see another guy walking towards my side of the car. I squeeze Sam's hand, and while he's talking to the dude with the knife in his face, he puts the car into gear and takes his foot off the brake...WHACK! The car hits the second assailant.

So, instead of running off, or trying to get the car, the knifewielder, runs up to his buddy who Sam's hit, and starts calling...you guessed it....the police! As if the police are gonna arrest Sam for hitting someone in the midst of a crime. LOL, the world seriously has gone nuts. Anyway, they show up, in about 10 minutes, and the ambulance arrives also. I look at Sam, who looks at me, and I notice his neck is bleeding. After getting a medic to look at it, (it was just a scratch), we are 'detained' by the local police. They have us follow them to the police station, while the knifewielder is arrested by them. We're put into a room, where I am trying to get a handle on this headache I'm getting. Sam's as cool as a cucumber, just anxious to leave. After about an hour of questioning us and the knifewielder, who confessed the entire plan to the police, we're allowed to leave, but we have to spend the night in town. Apparently, the police aren't sure whether to charge Sam with using his car as a weapon or not. (Racist bastards).  So he explains to the police the plan for the evening...in the words of the deputy, who read his confession statement.

"We saw them go into the movie theatre and saw the car, and decided we were gonna just jack the car because we knew they weren't from around here. Then Joe (the one who got hit by the car) saw the girl and decided he wanted to have some fun with her. He asked me if I wanted to have fun with her...so I said I was cool with that..and we decided to just make sure ol' boy didn't follow...but it was really Joe's idea. I really just wanted the car because it was a hot ride."

I will never forget those words as long as I live...that this man, whose face I could see, who was nervous and sweating and antsy and genuinely scared thought about raping me. About probably killing or maiming Sam, and raping me, then doing god knows what with me. I wasn't scared when it was happening, but knowing that, it made me feel terrified. I guess that hearing those words aloud, it being public knowledge that two men were planning to somehow stop Sam from being a factor and not only violate him by taking his vehicle, but make the ultimate violation and force themselves upon me just left me rocked to my very core. I'd never felt as terrified as I did in that one moment. Ever.

After the police told us to stay in town that night, even though we'd decided to because I don't drive stick shift cars that well and Sam was too tired to drive all the way back to Chicago,  we were wondering, where the hell do we stay? Where the hell are we? We were somewhere near Fox Valley, but not quite. It was like we'd stepped into an episode of the Twilight Zone. The police told us a local cafe was open 24 hours, and we could get a hot meal there if we were hungry, then they'd have a squad car escort us to the local motel. Well, as we were starting to think things had calmed down and that we could relax, we would soon discover that our night of hell wasn't near over.

The time is now 502 am. Sam said that to me as we got back into the car, and we laughed. Only we would get into mess this long-lasting. We followed the road, which actually looked like a dirt pathway, to this diner, which actually was a huge trailer. We get there, somewhat amused by this whole situation and laughing, and get smacked in the face with a big ol' dose of racism!

Apparently, this diner doesn't serve people after 5am. However, three of the police walk in after us and are promptly showed to a table. So, figuring that the police have some kind of special rank in this town that we don't, Sam walks up to their table and asks them about this policy. They, being all white, look at one another completely dumbfounded. One officer, a younger guy by the name of Jones, says, "Oh that's just the owner...they don't like black people." Sam turns and looks at me, as if he wanted to shout across the whole place "what the hell is going on?!" So, after I gave him the let's get out of here before someone finds an old rope face, we left. The officers asked where we were about to go and I said, "To find something to eat."

We leave the diner and start driving south. A few minutes later, we see cop cars behind us, lights not flashing, but the cars seem to be following us. After we realize that we are going to be followed until the morning, we decide to stop messing around and find a room for the evening. However, we find something even more wonderful...a 24-hour K-Mart with a food store! Sigh, it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in life. There, we were like kids, running up and down the aisles. We decided to buy ingredients to make sandwiches, pajamas, hygiene products as well as clothes for the next day. I was in heaven. We paid for our purchases, and were so hungry that we made the sandwiches right in the empty K-Mart Cafe, and munched on them while realizing how badly we missed Chicago, the ghetto and hood antics.

So, in our driving, we are told again by the police to go to a motel on the outskirts of town. We get there, and the place looks like it came right out of the movie Vacancy or Psycho. Basically, it looked a hot mess. The place only took cash, and they gave us the 'honeymoon suite', which had nothing sweet about it. The room looked dirty, the bedding smelled mildewed and the place was just creepy. So, we decided to leave there and just sleep in the car if we had to. We walk back to the manager's office, who leans over the counter to look at my ass...and tells us of other motels nearby that we can go to, and while he's doing that, I use Sam's iPhone to find a Holiday Inn Express about six miles away...and it sounds like heaven. The motel manager tells us that he's been told to call the police if he sees us go outside the room or look as if we're about to leave. At this point, both of us are pissed. But, we leave, and call the place on the way over, get a room and finally, get settled somewhere decent.

After all that, you know what Sam does? He tries to get some sex out of me. Says that if saving me from impending doom doesn't justify sex, what does...and I laugh. I laugh so hard that I'm pretty sure the whole place heard me. Finally, after some late-night conversation, we fall asleep in our K-Mart pajamas...and are able to sleep wonderfully. However, we wake up in the morning, and the hot water heater is broken. Plus it was a marathon series of phone calls to even get the service or simply to tell them to housekeeping to provide us with extra us towels...not a problem ...but we fall asleep.