Normally I don't post a blog daily, and normally, I don't have time. But, this week, I've been forced to do a lot of thinking. Over the past few days, I've watched my friend go through a surgery that if unsucessful, could have changed his life and it made me realize a lot of things. To not bore anyone to complete death, let me sum up some things quickly. This friend and I have always been there for each other. No matter what...our friendship, which began over 12 years ago...(sounds like a really long time...but it flew by so quickly)...has had its ups and downs. We've managed to go from hating each other to love, and even through our worst periods of arguing, been there 100or one another. When I was in the hospital for three days, even though I didn't really advertise it at the time, people came to visit. He was one of them. When I got out, and made it known that I was indeed sick, people who consider themselves my friends didn't even ask if I needed anything, anything at all. Mind you, some of these 'friends' say they've known me longer than my friend who was there, and that they were one of my better friends and that they loved me....
Love, when it comes to friends is a weird thing. Kev, who has had leukemia for a while, managed to stay with me when I was going through my illness and take care of me. Honestly, I think it took his mind off of his own illness, but it was the friend thing to do. He's never taken advantage of me, never left me dry, never talked about me to my face, never been anything but 100onest, even if I didn't like his opinion or thoughts about a person or a subject. Friends are a rare thing to come by nowadays.
I have a friend, (well, I'm honestly not sure if she's a friend anymore since she's started to talk about me)...who has done nothing but use me the entire time I've been friends with her. I've never done anything like that to anyone, ever. Honestly, I knew it was happening and if I didn't know, people around me pointed it out, but I let it continue because I felt sorry for her. I still do. She lies to people about her situation, her life and all that, pretty much anything anyone can lie about... and when the lies catch up to her, POW...she's got more lies to cover it up. I mean, I've told a fib or two in my life, hell who hasn't, but not like the lies she's told, not to get attention, to have people feel sorry for me or to make myself look like a complete victim...these lies, they not only make no sense, they are also insults to your intelligence.
Especially when we're all grown, no one is a baby anymore and it's time to accept responsibility when you're 22...it's time to stop acting like a kid. I didn't mind driving here or going there, or even picking up the tab for shit, but when I'm not working and you are, when I'm a full-time student living in an apartment and making ends meet by selling stuff on ebay and amazon, and just enough cash to just pay rent, bills and buy groceries...when my boyfriend is giving me money to get shit for my cat and puts me on his health insurance when I get sick so I won't have to pay for huge hospital bills...and you're working full-time and living with your parents, able to go shopping on a regular basis for yourself, don't ask me to pay for things that you should be more than capable to pay for and you know i'm going through shit like this...knowing i'm struggling for shit and you decide to force me to do it anyway, probably because they are jealous of something of mine deep down.... It's upsetting and disgusting. So, my answer is to cut it all off. It's never been friendship...and the lie stops now.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Ashley Robin
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Always Wantin Somethin 4 Nothin.....
I'm convinced that almost everyone wants something for nothing. Whatever happened to the idea of hard work, working so hard that when the good does come, it's just that more great. People expect opportunity to fall into their laps, and it's not fair to those who know getting into the game that shit ain't easy.
Look at the way society is today. They are teaching people to not aspire to work hard, just to get nice shit. And trust me, having nice shit is GREAT, but if there's no work behind it, that's all it is...SHIT. I was raised that if you strive for something, whether it be a job, class grade, radio mix, whatever, that if you put as much of yourself and your work into it, it would end up well for you in the end. You might not get that specific job, but someone will see you doing your thing and remember that you are a hard worker...and when something else comes up, (and it might be something better than that first job), they'll think of you. That's how I've gotten to where I've been...with dedication, ambition, focus and HARD WORK!
What inspires me to say such? Well, in the past two years of my life, I've busted my ass a million times to have the connects I do in my industry, to not only say I know people, but have gained their respect, confidence and trust as well. Not to tip my own hat, but people who are where I want to be someday have asked me for my feelings about industry-related matters and have taken my advice. So, I know I'm not booty...at all. Just seems like people who want to be in that same industry but maybe not in the same capacity as I do want to try to take advantage of that. And while it flatters me that they think I can help, it also feels like they are bending me over and trying to rape my ass. Literally. I usually end up pissed off. I can't help it. I feel like, why should I do you a favor and do XYZ for you, when I might need a favor for myself someday? Why should i go out on a limb and say that your shit is hot, when it might be a huge mistake and be some garbage shit altogether, ruining my credibility, my name and my chance of ever getting that person to believe in me and my future? It ain't worth it. Point is- Don't ask me for shit.
Ash
Look at the way society is today. They are teaching people to not aspire to work hard, just to get nice shit. And trust me, having nice shit is GREAT, but if there's no work behind it, that's all it is...SHIT. I was raised that if you strive for something, whether it be a job, class grade, radio mix, whatever, that if you put as much of yourself and your work into it, it would end up well for you in the end. You might not get that specific job, but someone will see you doing your thing and remember that you are a hard worker...and when something else comes up, (and it might be something better than that first job), they'll think of you. That's how I've gotten to where I've been...with dedication, ambition, focus and HARD WORK!
What inspires me to say such? Well, in the past two years of my life, I've busted my ass a million times to have the connects I do in my industry, to not only say I know people, but have gained their respect, confidence and trust as well. Not to tip my own hat, but people who are where I want to be someday have asked me for my feelings about industry-related matters and have taken my advice. So, I know I'm not booty...at all. Just seems like people who want to be in that same industry but maybe not in the same capacity as I do want to try to take advantage of that. And while it flatters me that they think I can help, it also feels like they are bending me over and trying to rape my ass. Literally. I usually end up pissed off. I can't help it. I feel like, why should I do you a favor and do XYZ for you, when I might need a favor for myself someday? Why should i go out on a limb and say that your shit is hot, when it might be a huge mistake and be some garbage shit altogether, ruining my credibility, my name and my chance of ever getting that person to believe in me and my future? It ain't worth it. Point is- Don't ask me for shit.
Ash
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