The 'Things I Don't Like' List

Hey Everyone,

So I've been asked to write my first list. It's a list of things I don't like. I'm doing it totally off the cuff and with no real thought to it, to keep it as random and honest as possible. Here goes.

1-Bad breath. Seems simple enough, but the smell of rotting meat makes me vomit, even moreso if it is coming from someone's mouth.

2-John InSain. He's old, he's a liar, and he's Republican. 

3-Talking on the phone. Usually most people who call me have no real point to the conversation, and unless I really like you, I try not to stay on the phone too long. Maybe that'll change when I get a bluetooth.

4-Beans. I hate beans because they remind me too much of the pods from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. That, and most people get really gassy after eating them..which is not cool.

5-Hypocrites. If you are say something, mean it. If you don't, then don't say it. I'll beat a hypocrite up real quick.

6-Thieves. I'm still looking for the person who stole my bike, vandalized my car and tried to snatch my mom's purse. If I even get a gut feeling that they are around, I'm going to snap.

7-Bible Thumpers. While I'm all for religion, and I am happy for you if you love it, but do not force me to drink the kool-aid.

8-Polls. No one has ever called me to ask me my opinion on anything but what alcohol I like to drink, or what clubs I go to...nothing substantial. Therefore, I tend not to believe a single one.

9-Telemarketers. I HATE them! They always call on some bull, they don't understand no, and now they want to start leaving messages on voicemail! GOD! 

10-The black guy in the Head-On ads. I don't know why, he just freaks me out.

11-Send offs. Everyone has been sent off at least once, whether by a friend, relative, potential significant other, period. It's just as bad as being a hypocrite, though.

12-Internet stalkers. People who literally sign on just to see if you're online, then send you messages of randomness for hours, even when you tell them you're busy.

13-The below song/video. I can't stand it! It irritates me to the point of vomiting. On myself.
The artist looks like a Boogie Bear, and is no one's Mack. Sorry.

14- Police. Enough said.

15- People getting donations for moral causes. I don't like them because if you're broke, it's just unacceptable to them. They will sit and tell you that you are a shitty person, just because you can't afford to give them the $200 donation that they're asking for. Dude, I live in Englewood, one of the lowest-income neighborhoods in Chicago. Do some damn geo-tracking before you call me, and please assume that I'm broke!

16- My dad. I love my dad, but I don't like him much. Why? Because he's too much like me and I'm an asshole. So just imagine a 79 year old, 6'1 retired Jamaican who is an asshole. With a potty mouth. Yep, not too popular.

17- Chicago State University. I go there, but I am starting to detest that school. Enough that, I probably will become one of many alumni who don't go back or give back. Terrible, I know, but I don't want any more nightmares.

18- Cilantro and Oregano. Cilantro tastes like soap and Oregano like pencil lead. Put any near my food and you will get slapped, and QUICK.

19- Superstitious people. I walk under ladders, I own a black cat, I've broken a mirror or two and I step on cracks. My mom's back isn't broken, and I've yet to have bad luck. Wait, I got into a car accident, fractured my wrist, almost got assaulted...ok, let's move on.

20- Lames that try to be cool. If you're lame, be lame. Don't try to be cool, because all it means is that you're even more lame. I admit wholeheartedly that I can be the biggest dork, but I'm me. I don't deny my dorky-ness or my corny jokes. It's just me, and that's who I want everyone else to be...100 percent, who they are.

Thoughts? Send me your list...

*Ashley Robin*