Haven't blogged in ages, I've been sooo busy with school, my friends and work, being on the computer seems like a foreign idea to me. I'm having trouble staying focused though...I find myself bored in class, not wanting to go and trying to find reasons not to. I got called out for not attending my math class, so I'm just going to have to find a way to stick to it. Oh well. My jury time was interesting, spent two days on a jury for a murder trial, and then they ended up plea-bargaining. I was kinda mad, saying, "Couldn't you have done that before I took two days off of school to spend them sitting in a hot ass room with a bunch of old people?" Yeah, the only reason I got picked was because I was close in age to the defendant, and had read nothing on the case. See, if it doesn't come to me through news alerts on my phone, texts from Mom or a friend telling me, I won't sit and read about random people getting arrested.
Anyway, I'm hosting a party at my house on the 16th. I'm excited because it looks like about 50 folks will be coming. We'll see how it works out. I gotta go get some sleep, got some things to take care of, I just wanted to blog something so people wouldn't think I was dead. LOL.
Ashley Robin
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Friday, August 18, 2006
Life Is Just My Fairy Tale
Haven't really blogged in a while, mainly because not much interesting has happened. Then today came, and sigh....I realized that I'm stuck in a moment and it seems to be lasting forever. Here's the status of things....in a nutshell, I'm bored and tired. Not bored in the sense that I'd do something silly for kicks, and not tired in the sense that I need sleep...just that my life is going in circles...kinda like that movie Groundhog Day, where you keep repeating yourself over and over and over....until you get so sick of things you look for ways to die and even then, you still wake up the next day unscathed physically.
I've been doing a lot of thinking, about my life, my mistakes, my future, where I see myself, and other than getting this degree and my grad degree, I don't really know what lies ahead. For once in my life, I have no plans...and it scares the crap out of me. I always pictured myself doing this by that age, this by that age, etc, etc....and now I have no idea where I'll live, what I'll be, who I'll be with, (if anyone) and if my future is as bright as some say. I guess I have to learn to just go with the flow of things, but I've always had a plan. me without one is kinda like jumping out a plane without a parachute...it makes NO sense. So, instead of setting up ideals that I see myself in or out of, I've come up with five goals.
1) Getting on good terms with as much of my family as possible. No matter what happens, you should have good ties with my family. I'm mainly thinking of my father, which may not be possible, but if I go to New York to see him, and it doesn't work, at least I'll have tried, which will be more than enough for me. It'll be enough to know I gave 100Àthat I took all the bull in stride and that I can truly be proud of my effort, enough that I don't have to regret any decisions I make in regards to him.
2) Finding some purpose. I've always wanted to spend more time giving back, and having to do community service with the Honors College will force me to do just that. I have the feeling that if I throw myself into something, whether it be kids, animals, the homeless, babies, I'll have a good time with it. I've already planned to let my hair grow long enough to where it can be donated to Locks of Love (14 inches, plus) over and over again until I get tired of it....and to donate blood as often as I can...but it's not enough. I can do more.
3) Making a plan to graduate and sticking to it. This one is the most reachable, since I've got a plan on grad school and time to get it done. I just don't want to be an undergrad at 25...so I guess I better hurry up.
4) Happiness. Finding some degree of it, whether it be a puppy, a boyfriend or just self-love, and never letting it go.
5) Fun...having more of it, more time to be silly, more time to enjoy things. This goes hand in hand with my plan to work hard, get more money in my life, and actually try to take time to enjoy the fruit of my labor.
Ash
I've been doing a lot of thinking, about my life, my mistakes, my future, where I see myself, and other than getting this degree and my grad degree, I don't really know what lies ahead. For once in my life, I have no plans...and it scares the crap out of me. I always pictured myself doing this by that age, this by that age, etc, etc....and now I have no idea where I'll live, what I'll be, who I'll be with, (if anyone) and if my future is as bright as some say. I guess I have to learn to just go with the flow of things, but I've always had a plan. me without one is kinda like jumping out a plane without a parachute...it makes NO sense. So, instead of setting up ideals that I see myself in or out of, I've come up with five goals.
1) Getting on good terms with as much of my family as possible. No matter what happens, you should have good ties with my family. I'm mainly thinking of my father, which may not be possible, but if I go to New York to see him, and it doesn't work, at least I'll have tried, which will be more than enough for me. It'll be enough to know I gave 100Àthat I took all the bull in stride and that I can truly be proud of my effort, enough that I don't have to regret any decisions I make in regards to him.
2) Finding some purpose. I've always wanted to spend more time giving back, and having to do community service with the Honors College will force me to do just that. I have the feeling that if I throw myself into something, whether it be kids, animals, the homeless, babies, I'll have a good time with it. I've already planned to let my hair grow long enough to where it can be donated to Locks of Love (14 inches, plus) over and over again until I get tired of it....and to donate blood as often as I can...but it's not enough. I can do more.
3) Making a plan to graduate and sticking to it. This one is the most reachable, since I've got a plan on grad school and time to get it done. I just don't want to be an undergrad at 25...so I guess I better hurry up.
4) Happiness. Finding some degree of it, whether it be a puppy, a boyfriend or just self-love, and never letting it go.
5) Fun...having more of it, more time to be silly, more time to enjoy things. This goes hand in hand with my plan to work hard, get more money in my life, and actually try to take time to enjoy the fruit of my labor.
Ash
Wednesday, August 9, 2006
A Series of Funny Events
feel like I've been laughing for the past few days, despite feeling like total crap. The week's been good, despite my catching a virus of some sort, has me all messed up. I can see the humor in everything. Here's a list of things that had me rolling, maybe they'll give you the giggles too..
..1- Flavor of Love. Talk about hood ass women. Just when I thought the scary big girl was about to do a New York and spit on someone, she tops that and does the most foul thing in the world and takes a shit on Flav's floor. I mean, DAMN!. She tells him that she askef for permission to go to the bathroom (something I haven't done since I was in grade school), and gets told no, meanwhile her stomach was going "Uh-uh, Bitch", so she dipped out of camera frame and took a shit on this man's marble floor. Now, this was after the clocks were given to the girls moving forward, and yes, she was one of them, but if I would have been Flav, I would have kicked her out the crib, shitty drawers and all. I mean, my dogs were even trained not to do that mess in the house...so her doing it is just nasty, nasty, NASTY.....and poor Rick had to clean it up. I'd have told them skip that....no job pays that much, to clean up human poop. Sorry.
..2- TMZ.com is basically a celeb-sighting site. They post pics of celebs out and about, people comment, etc. Kinda like PerezHilton.com....but anyway...TMZ fans really dislike Paris Hilton. I mean, they really hate on her. One guy said she was nothing but a 'oversized human condom' another said that he didn't understand why she was alive, that she should just kill herself...that her singing sounds like garbaage, etc...you get the point. That's sad, not funny. What's funny is that one of the reporters for the site actually found Paris and her press agent, on the way to some meeting, and read this stuff aloud to her, asking her "what do you think about it?" I mean, come on. If some dude came up to you, reading you negative bull about yourself, he'd have been picking himself up off the ground. She actually tries to be poised about it, does a good job being nice about it, but you can tell it hurts her feelings. I mean, it's common sense....who would want to hear that kind of thing? And, who cares if she says her feelings are hurt...certainly not the folks who wrote it....the stupidity of the world...
..3- My not taking myself seriously. I was playing with a baby today at the salon, and she was just sooo cute. I was dancing with her, while I had rollers in my hair, and she seemed to enjoy it. When it was time to return her to her mom (and I was sad, since I love the kids), I asked her for a kiss. She grabs my face like she's gonna lay one smack on my mouth, looks into my eyes with her little amber eyes and doesn't kiss me, but instead spits up the apple sauce I'd fed her while her mom was getting her hair blown out. Right on my nose and mouth. And proceeds to laugh, like it was the funniest thing ever! Because she was so cute, I had to laugh (after I washed my face about three times).
Life is always interesting,
Ashley Robin
..1- Flavor of Love. Talk about hood ass women. Just when I thought the scary big girl was about to do a New York and spit on someone, she tops that and does the most foul thing in the world and takes a shit on Flav's floor. I mean, DAMN!. She tells him that she askef for permission to go to the bathroom (something I haven't done since I was in grade school), and gets told no, meanwhile her stomach was going "Uh-uh, Bitch", so she dipped out of camera frame and took a shit on this man's marble floor. Now, this was after the clocks were given to the girls moving forward, and yes, she was one of them, but if I would have been Flav, I would have kicked her out the crib, shitty drawers and all. I mean, my dogs were even trained not to do that mess in the house...so her doing it is just nasty, nasty, NASTY.....and poor Rick had to clean it up. I'd have told them skip that....no job pays that much, to clean up human poop. Sorry.
..2- TMZ.com is basically a celeb-sighting site. They post pics of celebs out and about, people comment, etc. Kinda like PerezHilton.com....but anyway...TMZ fans really dislike Paris Hilton. I mean, they really hate on her. One guy said she was nothing but a 'oversized human condom' another said that he didn't understand why she was alive, that she should just kill herself...that her singing sounds like garbaage, etc...you get the point. That's sad, not funny. What's funny is that one of the reporters for the site actually found Paris and her press agent, on the way to some meeting, and read this stuff aloud to her, asking her "what do you think about it?" I mean, come on. If some dude came up to you, reading you negative bull about yourself, he'd have been picking himself up off the ground. She actually tries to be poised about it, does a good job being nice about it, but you can tell it hurts her feelings. I mean, it's common sense....who would want to hear that kind of thing? And, who cares if she says her feelings are hurt...certainly not the folks who wrote it....the stupidity of the world...
..3- My not taking myself seriously. I was playing with a baby today at the salon, and she was just sooo cute. I was dancing with her, while I had rollers in my hair, and she seemed to enjoy it. When it was time to return her to her mom (and I was sad, since I love the kids), I asked her for a kiss. She grabs my face like she's gonna lay one smack on my mouth, looks into my eyes with her little amber eyes and doesn't kiss me, but instead spits up the apple sauce I'd fed her while her mom was getting her hair blown out. Right on my nose and mouth. And proceeds to laugh, like it was the funniest thing ever! Because she was so cute, I had to laugh (after I washed my face about three times).
Life is always interesting,
Ashley Robin
Saturday, August 5, 2006
Letting Go By Remembering the Beginning
een thinking about some things. I've decided some things too. I've decided to do a Theresa and let go of my Ethan. His name isn't Ethan, but if you watch Passions, you understand what I mean. For a while, almost six months which is an eternity in my world, especially in terms of men, I've been dealing with a complicated relationship. Knowing the feeling of being in love with a guy and feeling his love. Being asked to be his and only his, and spending hours with his arms wrapped around me and finding joy in laughing with him. But love just wasn't enough to make sure he was mine, love wasn't enough to keep the promise that my heart, body, soul, spirit and mind made. Passion for each other, the ability to laugh, be tender and caring...it was all there. Without really writing about it before, he and I had our intense days, good and bad. We argued and we loved, all in a whirlwind of moments. We were brought closer together because of something that happened to me at the beginning of the year, someone who said they cared for me left me vulnerable and he was there for me when none of my friends, people who said they loved me and cared for me were. He stayed with me through it all, helped me to get better, and helped me to realize that love exists in the world. He was my inspiration to drive myself, to push myself forward, and for that I thank my Mr. Wonderful, because to me, he'll always be just that...wonderful. Nothing anyone can say will make me think or feel otherwise...but I have to let him go in order to move on.
It's the reason why I haven't been able to date anyone for too long, despite actually liking guys, the reason why I keep his number as ..4 on speedial, after my mom, lisa and anika, the reason why I see his face in my dreams. All this time, I thought I knew what love was, and I've loved before, but his love was different...it was adult love. Not a crush or infatuation, but the kind that makes you want to be a better person. It's why I was on the Dean's List, why I was trying so hard to be the girl of his dreams, why I stepped out of my comfort zone, and why I could not picture my future without him being in it.
Well, last night, I slept and dreamt of things other than him, and thinking of my future, well, he wasn't in it for the first time, and while I was sad, I was happy...because in my acceptance of the fact that the 'us' will never be, it makes room for something or someone else. Like everyone else, I just want happiness and serenity in my life. He knows all this, we talked about it today...and he seemed sad, but he understood. I know he'll be there for me, because I'll be there for him. And when I kissed him goodbye, it was the funniest thing...I knew in that moment I loved him, and always would, but realized that I was no longer IN love with him.
When I got home, I curled up in his t-shirt and tried to remember every thing about the moment he gave it to me, the night I absolutely fell for him, after our sixth 'date' running from his car to the house in my slip of a dress, getting soaked to the bone, and then being warmed by an instant fire he made. He ordered me out of my wet clothes, and threw the shirt and a pair of sweats at me. He turned around so he wouldn't see me in my underwear, but didn't know I'd taken them off as well. He and I spent the night by that fire, just talking and laughing, and he put a blanket around me and kissed my cheek as I slept. I remember waking up and seeing he was awake, watching the TV with closed captioning so I wouldn't be disturbed, (and falling for him in that instant) but only asking him why he couldn't sleep. No reason, he said, and told me to rest, that he'd make sure I got home the next morning. I told him I'd only sleep if he tried to sleep also, so he moved next to me, and I put my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. In the dark glow of the fire, our hands found each other and did not let go. That was the night it all began, the night we connected not just physically, but emotionally and I never told a soul about it. I loved the amount of that time that I kept secret, and that he kept secret, so we could have all those memories kept between us. It was something that we could think of as we worked together, and we could stare at each other and grin, waiting until we were alone to sneak kisses, hugs and all that mushy stuff. I only share it now for the first time, type it now for the first time, not because I think anyone will read it, but because it helps me to let go....
Ashley Robin
It's the reason why I haven't been able to date anyone for too long, despite actually liking guys, the reason why I keep his number as ..4 on speedial, after my mom, lisa and anika, the reason why I see his face in my dreams. All this time, I thought I knew what love was, and I've loved before, but his love was different...it was adult love. Not a crush or infatuation, but the kind that makes you want to be a better person. It's why I was on the Dean's List, why I was trying so hard to be the girl of his dreams, why I stepped out of my comfort zone, and why I could not picture my future without him being in it.
Well, last night, I slept and dreamt of things other than him, and thinking of my future, well, he wasn't in it for the first time, and while I was sad, I was happy...because in my acceptance of the fact that the 'us' will never be, it makes room for something or someone else. Like everyone else, I just want happiness and serenity in my life. He knows all this, we talked about it today...and he seemed sad, but he understood. I know he'll be there for me, because I'll be there for him. And when I kissed him goodbye, it was the funniest thing...I knew in that moment I loved him, and always would, but realized that I was no longer IN love with him.
When I got home, I curled up in his t-shirt and tried to remember every thing about the moment he gave it to me, the night I absolutely fell for him, after our sixth 'date' running from his car to the house in my slip of a dress, getting soaked to the bone, and then being warmed by an instant fire he made. He ordered me out of my wet clothes, and threw the shirt and a pair of sweats at me. He turned around so he wouldn't see me in my underwear, but didn't know I'd taken them off as well. He and I spent the night by that fire, just talking and laughing, and he put a blanket around me and kissed my cheek as I slept. I remember waking up and seeing he was awake, watching the TV with closed captioning so I wouldn't be disturbed, (and falling for him in that instant) but only asking him why he couldn't sleep. No reason, he said, and told me to rest, that he'd make sure I got home the next morning. I told him I'd only sleep if he tried to sleep also, so he moved next to me, and I put my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. In the dark glow of the fire, our hands found each other and did not let go. That was the night it all began, the night we connected not just physically, but emotionally and I never told a soul about it. I loved the amount of that time that I kept secret, and that he kept secret, so we could have all those memories kept between us. It was something that we could think of as we worked together, and we could stare at each other and grin, waiting until we were alone to sneak kisses, hugs and all that mushy stuff. I only share it now for the first time, type it now for the first time, not because I think anyone will read it, but because it helps me to let go....
Ashley Robin
Tuesday, August 1, 2006
My Mortal Mother (Part II)
Just when we all got over the whole, "hey, your mom just might have skin cancer" bit, and let me tell you, as close as we are, that was horrible..come to find out her knee is bothering her and she just might have to have surgery on it...again. Last time was so horrible, because I was too young to drive her and she made me go to school that day...so when I came home, she'd not only had to get a cab ride home, her leg was wrapped up in these bloody bandages...I'm just hoping and praying it doesn't come down to something that extreme...but if not, I may be calling on my friends to come help me take care of her...people that know her know she can be a bit of a diva....I'mma need support. Last time, it was pretty bad, and she's so damn stubborn..she was trying to cook dinner for us two days later and was hobbling around and I could not force her to sit down. No wonder where I get it from...the stubborness, I mean. Hopefully, it doesn't come to that, but I'm preparing myself regardless. Sigh....
In other news, school's almost here. I'm excited to get another semester going, but not because I've got way more responsibility. I've got the Honors College, the Dean's List, a possible thing at the Radio Station, as well as my job and dealing with trying to go abroad next summer. Yeah, I plan to do that too. Might as well before I get shackled into some 9 to 5 gig, and maybe I'll get a job offer from someone out there and just go live there. Sigh, who knows?
No boyfriend as of yet, just dates. It's weird that most of my friends are coupled up and I'm not. Does that make me picky, strange or just that it's not meant to be? I don't know...and part of me doesn't care. I like not having to explain my relationships with guys to someone, to not have to feel like I need to justify this person or that person....it's a definite feeling of empowerment, but at the same time, when it gets dark and the world's slowed down and everyone's in bed...I'm in my bed alone. I like that, because then I get to sleep in the middle and don't have a "Side" but I don't because it's also just as nice to be able to feel the warmth of a warm body next to you. Sex? I don't really miss that as much as I thought I would. Weird, huh? I guess I've been too busy lately to be horny. And that, at my age, is definitely weird, haha!
Well, you won't see me crying....I love my life, through and through.
As of Monday, August 7th, I'm starting a new quest to make myself the best person possible....expect great things.
XoXo,
Ashley
In other news, school's almost here. I'm excited to get another semester going, but not because I've got way more responsibility. I've got the Honors College, the Dean's List, a possible thing at the Radio Station, as well as my job and dealing with trying to go abroad next summer. Yeah, I plan to do that too. Might as well before I get shackled into some 9 to 5 gig, and maybe I'll get a job offer from someone out there and just go live there. Sigh, who knows?
No boyfriend as of yet, just dates. It's weird that most of my friends are coupled up and I'm not. Does that make me picky, strange or just that it's not meant to be? I don't know...and part of me doesn't care. I like not having to explain my relationships with guys to someone, to not have to feel like I need to justify this person or that person....it's a definite feeling of empowerment, but at the same time, when it gets dark and the world's slowed down and everyone's in bed...I'm in my bed alone. I like that, because then I get to sleep in the middle and don't have a "Side" but I don't because it's also just as nice to be able to feel the warmth of a warm body next to you. Sex? I don't really miss that as much as I thought I would. Weird, huh? I guess I've been too busy lately to be horny. And that, at my age, is definitely weird, haha!
Well, you won't see me crying....I love my life, through and through.
As of Monday, August 7th, I'm starting a new quest to make myself the best person possible....expect great things.
XoXo,
Ashley
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
My Mortal Mother
love my mother to all death. For years, I've seen her as the picture of health. She's always been healthy, never anything major, except the yearly bout with bronchitis, and that one time where she had walking pneumonia like I did....but, other than that, she rarely has anything worse than a headache. So, when we went to the dermatology clinic about this mild rash I got on my forehead from a reaction to something used in a facial (weird, right?) my mom started asking questions about getting a few moles around her neck removed. She's had these moles since forever. I named them all as a kid and used to actually like the feeling of them touching me as I would snuggle my face into the fold of her neck. Not because I'm weird, but because if I closed my eyes, I'd feel those moles and know it was her. Kinda like a blind taste test, those moles helped me identify her.
Anyway, the doctor looks at one mole and instead of trying to remove it, says she needs a biopsy. Well, I've been down that road before, we all know what a biopsy is...he basically says he's afraid it might be cancerous. I look at my mom, and I start freaking..."Mom's got cancer? What? Are you shitting me? Seriously?" and getting upset. I'm thinking that sometimes she gets on my last nerve, sometimes I want to shake her, sometimes I wish she'd leave me alone and quit meddling in my life, sometimes I want to get away from her, sometimes she annoys the hell out of me but I don't want her to have cancer. I don't think I could take it, and I don't want her to deal with any pain, especially none that I can't take from her. She's my mom.
So the doctor does the biopsy, and we get told we'll know the results in a week. We head back today, (A week later) and get told she does have a precancerous condition, that if untreated could become a form of skin cancer. I FREAK....big time. Mom's not supposed to be ill, she's supposed to protect me, keep me safe and watch over my grandbabies...and what if she's not around to see them? What if this takes her from me? I can't do life without her..and I start crying, getting blubbery and she starts crying because I'm crying...when really....all in all...she doesn't have cancer. Sigh. We never laughed so hard, and honestly, I've never felt closer to her. But, I've never been that scared.
I'm relieved. Relieved big time. Mom, don't die, ever. Or else, I'll kill you.
A Loving Daughter
Anyway, the doctor looks at one mole and instead of trying to remove it, says she needs a biopsy. Well, I've been down that road before, we all know what a biopsy is...he basically says he's afraid it might be cancerous. I look at my mom, and I start freaking..."Mom's got cancer? What? Are you shitting me? Seriously?" and getting upset. I'm thinking that sometimes she gets on my last nerve, sometimes I want to shake her, sometimes I wish she'd leave me alone and quit meddling in my life, sometimes I want to get away from her, sometimes she annoys the hell out of me but I don't want her to have cancer. I don't think I could take it, and I don't want her to deal with any pain, especially none that I can't take from her. She's my mom.
So the doctor does the biopsy, and we get told we'll know the results in a week. We head back today, (A week later) and get told she does have a precancerous condition, that if untreated could become a form of skin cancer. I FREAK....big time. Mom's not supposed to be ill, she's supposed to protect me, keep me safe and watch over my grandbabies...and what if she's not around to see them? What if this takes her from me? I can't do life without her..and I start crying, getting blubbery and she starts crying because I'm crying...when really....all in all...she doesn't have cancer. Sigh. We never laughed so hard, and honestly, I've never felt closer to her. But, I've never been that scared.
I'm relieved. Relieved big time. Mom, don't die, ever. Or else, I'll kill you.
A Loving Daughter
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Hating Idiots But Loving The New Perspective
getting lasik was probably the best thing i've done for myself in a while. well, other than getting things resolved with my ex, who's probably one of my best friends now, and my car. but, that's another point. anyway, for all those who are interested in doing it, definitely do your research. there's a lot of pre-op stuff you have to do to maintain your eyes, but the perks are well worth it. it's annoying as hell, to being eating a meal with someone and you're like, "oop, it's 230, gotta put my pink drops in..." but to see 20/15 out of both eyes one day after the operation....it's a miracle. lights in darkness still kinda get me, they have these glows around them, doc calls them halos, but says it should be temporary. I was so out of it yesterday, all I really did was lay around and eat a mini dump cake mom made to comfort me. My ex came over and got in the bed with me, and i slept for about six hours like that. he left after about four hours, when he had to go to work, and when i woke up from my name, with all the sensitivity and irritation practically gone, mom says that she thinks he's still in love with me. whether or not he'll ever tell me is another issue, but....that's not really the point of this.
the point is, my new vision has given me a way to see things more clearly. it's like someone took all the blinders off, literally. all the bullshit of the past, is just that. trifling people and their situations are just that too, bullshit. everyone knows a blog is for venting, so i vent. if you don't like it, don't read it. a while ago, someone said that my ex and i weren't going to work out because they didn't think he was committed to me. well, turns out they are just jealous. i didn't say that either...my ex did. most of the clarity i've gotten comes from talking to him about lots of things and people that i probably wouldn't have if we'd still been together as a couple. it's interesting how independence from a relationship allows you to just be totally open with a person. now, i can definitely say that he knows the real me.
I hate idiots. Pretentious ones, fake ones, idiots that don't realize they are idiots, idiots that pretend so much to be smart that they actually believe it...all that bull. I was talking to my friend Audrey, who's a bit of a reality dose, and she said that they're taking over the world. sad, but true. and to think, for a while, i was so hurt by the actions of idiots in my life that i let it affect my mojo. my mojo is unbreakable....which, lol, is coming on abc saturday. yay!
I'm single, but i'm pretty sure i won't be for too much longer. i got a feeling that something's coming. Made an appointment to get some new shots of myself taken without the glasses, to officially mark the end of that era. I'm so excited to see what the world has to bring. Haters only motivate, so bring it on. As i said before, 'Assholes can kick rocks two times on a hard beat!" (it's a music thing...lol)
XOXO,
Ashley Robin
the point is, my new vision has given me a way to see things more clearly. it's like someone took all the blinders off, literally. all the bullshit of the past, is just that. trifling people and their situations are just that too, bullshit. everyone knows a blog is for venting, so i vent. if you don't like it, don't read it. a while ago, someone said that my ex and i weren't going to work out because they didn't think he was committed to me. well, turns out they are just jealous. i didn't say that either...my ex did. most of the clarity i've gotten comes from talking to him about lots of things and people that i probably wouldn't have if we'd still been together as a couple. it's interesting how independence from a relationship allows you to just be totally open with a person. now, i can definitely say that he knows the real me.
I hate idiots. Pretentious ones, fake ones, idiots that don't realize they are idiots, idiots that pretend so much to be smart that they actually believe it...all that bull. I was talking to my friend Audrey, who's a bit of a reality dose, and she said that they're taking over the world. sad, but true. and to think, for a while, i was so hurt by the actions of idiots in my life that i let it affect my mojo. my mojo is unbreakable....which, lol, is coming on abc saturday. yay!
I'm single, but i'm pretty sure i won't be for too much longer. i got a feeling that something's coming. Made an appointment to get some new shots of myself taken without the glasses, to officially mark the end of that era. I'm so excited to see what the world has to bring. Haters only motivate, so bring it on. As i said before, 'Assholes can kick rocks two times on a hard beat!" (it's a music thing...lol)
XOXO,
Ashley Robin
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
A Missing Corpse..(Yeah, I'm For Real)
A True and Funny Story...Depends on Your Sense of Humor
While I was leaving out of Social Science, my girl Raven sends me a text message telling me that her cadaver (she's taking Human Anatomy and they use actual cadavers...go figure) has up and disappeared. Well, it looks as if no one seems to have any idea where it is, that a cadaver and the gurney it rests on has gone totally AWOL, MIA, whatever you want to call it. When I get to the fourth floor for Geography, I decided to go into another professor's class to say hello to my friend for a second before class starts, and I'm not in the room two minutes when I suddenly see this gurney go whizzing past, outside the doorway, in the hall. I look at my friend with the "did you just see what i saw?" face and we both hop up, trying to figure out what was going on. Suddenly, there's this piercingly loud scream, which sounds like it's coming from the third floor (the floor below where I currently was) and all I hear is laughing from the other side of the hall of the floor I'm on. So, I look and figure it was nothing, when I see some of the basketball team guys walking down the hall. They tell me this story that they were walking past the classroom in which Human Anatomy is taught, and a cadaver was in the room, all wrapped up and alone. laying on a gurney. So they get the smart idea to wheel the gurney into the hall and just push it down, to really screw with people. You can tell these boys don't have much to do.
Anyway, they get it out in the hall, and shove it down as hard as four of them can...and it ends up in the elevator with this girl named Courtney, who if you all knew her would say is a huge crybaby. Anyway, she ends up getting out on the third floor, not before screaming her head off, and pushing it out of the elevator, so it's on the third floor somewhere. Turns out, about an hour later, they can't find it, so someone gets the bright idea to get on the PA system and page the cadaver....like it could really answer. Sigh, I don't think the world is too bright. They ended up finding it though, on the second floor somewhere. Raven was just happy because she didn't have to look at it today, since it was her cadaver and told those guys that they should try to kidnap it more often.
Overall, morbidly amusing, but seeing Courtney freak was definitely hilarious! I'm gonna laugh at her scream for a while...it's obvious that I don't like her...she can't stand me either, fyi.
Ashley Robin
While I was leaving out of Social Science, my girl Raven sends me a text message telling me that her cadaver (she's taking Human Anatomy and they use actual cadavers...go figure) has up and disappeared. Well, it looks as if no one seems to have any idea where it is, that a cadaver and the gurney it rests on has gone totally AWOL, MIA, whatever you want to call it. When I get to the fourth floor for Geography, I decided to go into another professor's class to say hello to my friend for a second before class starts, and I'm not in the room two minutes when I suddenly see this gurney go whizzing past, outside the doorway, in the hall. I look at my friend with the "did you just see what i saw?" face and we both hop up, trying to figure out what was going on. Suddenly, there's this piercingly loud scream, which sounds like it's coming from the third floor (the floor below where I currently was) and all I hear is laughing from the other side of the hall of the floor I'm on. So, I look and figure it was nothing, when I see some of the basketball team guys walking down the hall. They tell me this story that they were walking past the classroom in which Human Anatomy is taught, and a cadaver was in the room, all wrapped up and alone. laying on a gurney. So they get the smart idea to wheel the gurney into the hall and just push it down, to really screw with people. You can tell these boys don't have much to do.
Anyway, they get it out in the hall, and shove it down as hard as four of them can...and it ends up in the elevator with this girl named Courtney, who if you all knew her would say is a huge crybaby. Anyway, she ends up getting out on the third floor, not before screaming her head off, and pushing it out of the elevator, so it's on the third floor somewhere. Turns out, about an hour later, they can't find it, so someone gets the bright idea to get on the PA system and page the cadaver....like it could really answer. Sigh, I don't think the world is too bright. They ended up finding it though, on the second floor somewhere. Raven was just happy because she didn't have to look at it today, since it was her cadaver and told those guys that they should try to kidnap it more often.
Overall, morbidly amusing, but seeing Courtney freak was definitely hilarious! I'm gonna laugh at her scream for a while...it's obvious that I don't like her...she can't stand me either, fyi.
Ashley Robin
Workin Up a Black Sweat~
Been forever since I posted, right? Lol, as you can see...I've been busy. I got a new job working for Apple...it's part-time while I'm in school, and part-time during the summer, but it manages to keep me busy. I like the challenges and the work, so far. The perks, are AWESOME. I just went to pick up my laptop...it's a brand new Macbook...and it kicks so much ass. I mean, really. I'm elated to have it. I'm also getting lasik eye surgery on Thursday, at 9am, so bye-bye glasses...hopefully for a long, long, long time. lol. It excites me, knowing that I'll be able to say bye-bye to glasses, and hello to contact sports, swimming, wrestling, all that...
Went to St. Louis, to see a wedding, Phantom of the Opera, my granny's gravesite and her house. Phantom was great, phenomenal actually, the wedding was....interesting, and my granny's gravesite's probably the most tranquil and wonderful place I've ever been to. I didn't want to leave. I just sat beside her, talking to her, telling her everything I could think of, and then when I couldn't think of anymore to say, I just put my arms around her gravestone and laid my face next to the inscription. I've never felt more at peace....and honestly, if St. Louis wasn't such a bummy ass city, I'd move there just so I could feel that on a daily basis. I felt her spirit, essence, life force, whatever the hell you wanna call it...it was there. And it was so soothing....honestly.
After that, we got a reality check when we went on a mad search for her house and found out it had been bulldozed and a strip mall, specifically a Wal-Mart Tire & Lube Express sits where her house used to be. So the place where people go for oil changes, used to be my granny's kitchen. It's kinda sad because I can remember being in that house...vaguely since i was little...helping my aunt and granny make apple pie. Now, it's where brake pads are replaced. Made me sad. I threw a soygurt container at the wall, and ran. LOL, I wasn't trying to get arrested....not in that racist town, but I'll get to that later.
Then, we went to see the Phantom of the Opera, performed by the Broadway cast. Talk about amazing...everyone could sing, was so talented, and beautiful. And the costumes! Talk about fabulous. Everyone that knows me knows I LOVE that opera, it's my favorite, so I was like a little kid watching the whole thing...eyes wide open, jaw hanging down, tongue wagging, drooling...okay, well maybe not drooling, but you get the point. The guy that played the Phantom had the best voice....and he had everyone crying when he sang his reprise of "All I Ask of You", which is the most beautiful song ever. So beautiful in fact, every time I hear it I get a little choked up and find it so perfect that I'm making it my official wedding song. Don't laugh. Listen to it and see what I mean.
After the Phantom, the weekend was pretty much done in St. Louis. We went to brunch at the Puck cafe in the St. Louis Art Museum and got a dose of racism. Not subtle, either...it was pretty blatant. I was kinda upset, because I'm not a mean-looking kinda person..not that it matters, racism in any aspect is horrible...but we ended up tag-teaming the waitress, cussing out the manager and leaving. We ended up having lunch in the Central West End, the Hyde Park-esque neighborhood in St. Louis. Then, it was onto the wedding, which was nice, but not really memorable. The bride and groom were happy, so that was the most important thing....
After that, we came back to Chicago, got a little sick due to all the sun, recooperated, and then Lisa came to visit for the weekend. We ended up going clubbin, hanging out at the beach, getting good food at the Taste, seeing a play at Chi State, and then going to visit my ex. That's always interesting, watching the two of them interact. After she left Sunday, it's been work, work, work and some stuff I had to do for school. Now, I'll be working nonstop until school starts...but hey, I can't complain. I love the challenge. Speaking of which, I gotta go take care of some things before I get to have my lunch of sushi.
Stay positive,
Ashley Robin
P.S.- In two days, well, less than that, actually, because I'll have had it this time Thursday, yours truly will be having Lasik eye surgery. I'm not nervous at all, just looking forward to being rid of my glasses. I'll post throughout Thursday or Friday on how it all went and what my progress and recovery time is so if you're considering it, you'll have a firsthand account.
Went to St. Louis, to see a wedding, Phantom of the Opera, my granny's gravesite and her house. Phantom was great, phenomenal actually, the wedding was....interesting, and my granny's gravesite's probably the most tranquil and wonderful place I've ever been to. I didn't want to leave. I just sat beside her, talking to her, telling her everything I could think of, and then when I couldn't think of anymore to say, I just put my arms around her gravestone and laid my face next to the inscription. I've never felt more at peace....and honestly, if St. Louis wasn't such a bummy ass city, I'd move there just so I could feel that on a daily basis. I felt her spirit, essence, life force, whatever the hell you wanna call it...it was there. And it was so soothing....honestly.
After that, we got a reality check when we went on a mad search for her house and found out it had been bulldozed and a strip mall, specifically a Wal-Mart Tire & Lube Express sits where her house used to be. So the place where people go for oil changes, used to be my granny's kitchen. It's kinda sad because I can remember being in that house...vaguely since i was little...helping my aunt and granny make apple pie. Now, it's where brake pads are replaced. Made me sad. I threw a soygurt container at the wall, and ran. LOL, I wasn't trying to get arrested....not in that racist town, but I'll get to that later.
Then, we went to see the Phantom of the Opera, performed by the Broadway cast. Talk about amazing...everyone could sing, was so talented, and beautiful. And the costumes! Talk about fabulous. Everyone that knows me knows I LOVE that opera, it's my favorite, so I was like a little kid watching the whole thing...eyes wide open, jaw hanging down, tongue wagging, drooling...okay, well maybe not drooling, but you get the point. The guy that played the Phantom had the best voice....and he had everyone crying when he sang his reprise of "All I Ask of You", which is the most beautiful song ever. So beautiful in fact, every time I hear it I get a little choked up and find it so perfect that I'm making it my official wedding song. Don't laugh. Listen to it and see what I mean.
After the Phantom, the weekend was pretty much done in St. Louis. We went to brunch at the Puck cafe in the St. Louis Art Museum and got a dose of racism. Not subtle, either...it was pretty blatant. I was kinda upset, because I'm not a mean-looking kinda person..not that it matters, racism in any aspect is horrible...but we ended up tag-teaming the waitress, cussing out the manager and leaving. We ended up having lunch in the Central West End, the Hyde Park-esque neighborhood in St. Louis. Then, it was onto the wedding, which was nice, but not really memorable. The bride and groom were happy, so that was the most important thing....
After that, we came back to Chicago, got a little sick due to all the sun, recooperated, and then Lisa came to visit for the weekend. We ended up going clubbin, hanging out at the beach, getting good food at the Taste, seeing a play at Chi State, and then going to visit my ex. That's always interesting, watching the two of them interact. After she left Sunday, it's been work, work, work and some stuff I had to do for school. Now, I'll be working nonstop until school starts...but hey, I can't complain. I love the challenge. Speaking of which, I gotta go take care of some things before I get to have my lunch of sushi.
Stay positive,
Ashley Robin
P.S.- In two days, well, less than that, actually, because I'll have had it this time Thursday, yours truly will be having Lasik eye surgery. I'm not nervous at all, just looking forward to being rid of my glasses. I'll post throughout Thursday or Friday on how it all went and what my progress and recovery time is so if you're considering it, you'll have a firsthand account.
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