I Told You So!

Hey,

While I recuperate from my illness that I wrote about here, I am literally under instruction to "take it easy". Many people who know me know that I am not a person who does that. So I find myself in a bit of a Catch-22. As a result, I find myself looking at a lot of articles and watching a lot of CNN. As of today, I just have four words for all those who doubted me. They are:

I told you So.

A while back, the whole scandal erupted with my former Governor and official Hero, Rod Blagojevich and his Senate Appointee, Roland Burris. At the time, they could not reject Burris' appointment simply because Blago (as I affectionately call him), was allegedly dirty. Now, we all know Blago got thrown out of office and Burris proceeded to step all over his body to get an alley-oop into the Senate. Now, it appears that karma is a b**ch and she's pissed off at Roland Burris.

An article has come out in the Chicago Sun-Times that states that Roland Burris is more than likely going to be investigated for perjury. For those of you not sure of how perjury comes into play, Burris testified to the Illinois House Impeachment Committee in early January that he had no contact with Blagojevich or any of his staff in regards to the Senate appointment. Now, it appears that that may be a false statement. In an affidavit, which is a certified legal document, the Senate appointee admits that he spoke with Blagojevich's brother, Robert, in regards to a possible $10,000 donation to his campaign or campaign support upon his becoming the Senator from Illinois. 

I am laughing my ass off right now, because it feels so great to be right. The wrongs of corruption should be corrected and Burris should be kicked out of office. Being found guilty of perjury alone is a charge serious enough to cost a practicing attorney their legal license to practice law. In theory, a politician can be stripped of their title for such. Look at President Bill Clinton, who was impeached for perjury. We all know what happened there.

So, with Blagojevich saying that even though he was out of office, we would hear more from him about names, times and places, as well as making sure any and all affiliated with any of the crimes he was thrown out of office for, with these affidavit, and now all these balls rolling in a direction to get Burris out of the Senate, as many (myself included) have wanted from the beginning, a man that no one wanted in office initially, except those who didn't really understand the dynamics going on around it, I say finally, Karma is a b**ch.

I just wonder where "Senator for less than six months, perjurer and overall failure to the people of Illinois" will fit on his massive tombstone "monument" to himself in Oak Woods Cemetery on the South Side of Chicago, Illinois. 

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

Falling Out (part I)

Hey,

So the current MisAdventure seems to be the cycle that I've managed to fall into with my ex-boyfriend. The one that I'm always mooning over, the one that one of my best friends, Kelsey, is convinced that I will marry... Mr. Wonderful. 

He and I, we seem to live in this cycle where we love each other, get bored with each other, do things to hurt each other, fall out of love with each other, make up, become friends with each other and then fall in love all over again. It seems, in order for us to complete an entire cycle takes anywhere from 6-10 months. We've done it maybe 3 times. The cycle has existed through other relationships, through dating other people, through our own decisions to stay away from each other and through our own emotional issues. 

Essentially, I'm not strong enough to be hurt over and over...and he's not able enough to recognize that he hurts me. In my effort to rebel against him hurting me, I do things to hurt him and end up feeling guilty about them, but what I don't realize is that my behavior does hurt him and only makes him less likely to change. It's an emotionally draining thing to be involved in, and if I was able to realize it was happening in real time, I'd stop and talk to him about it...but even when I've had the inkling to, I can't.

The thing is, I love him. Even thinking about him now, I smile. But then, the smile gets lost somewhere in the memory of all the drama, late night arguing, tears, pain and feelings of loneliness....but even with all that, I can't imagine my life without him. He's become a part of me, and the longer this goes on I begin to realize that I have a decision on my shoulders. Either I deal with the issues that I have with him head-on, if that means relationship counseling, if that means being uncharacteristically honest with him about how I really feel....or, (and I shudder at the very thought of it) I let him go. I end the cycle right now, in this moment, and I learn to live my life without him. I don't really know how to do that, but I imagine it would be the same as any other loss, moving on and simply taking things one day at a time...one step at a time.

I had my epiphany about this whole situation today, as I was driving around getting some errands done. A song came on my radio via my iPod nano, called "Falling Out" by Keyshia Cole. It pretty much explains how I feel when I'm in the "doing things to hurt him/falling out of love" stage...all the pain, the sorrow, the abandonment, and the loneliness that I feel...it's summed up with her words. In the end of the song, she lets him go...I just hesitate on making that same decision...

I'll talk about my hesitations when I post tomorrow...

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

I Always Knew that One Day, They'd Try to Bring Me Down

Hey,

So today, I am getting over being sick as a dog. My nose is red from sneezing too much, my head hurts and my throat aches and I'm exhausted from not really sleeping well. Anyway, I have found out that, yet again, I have a hater. I am never against having haters, simply because they motivate me to keep on my everyday hustle, but it always shocks me to find out who is doing the hating. This time, it is one of the people who I never thought would be so against me.

I'm not about to put them on blast, because that's trifling, especially when I have yet to figure out if or how I'd even let them know about themselves, BUT, I write about them because I need to address a trait in myself. I'm loyal. To my friends, my family as well as the people I care about. It's rare for me to go against someone, even if I hear they talk about me like I have a tail. (And that's pretty bad, to me.) BUT, if you talk ish about my mom, I will pretty much call my relationship with you dead and stinking. That's what this person did. They talked ish about my mom AND my dad, which kinda hurts. It stings something terrible since my dad's relationship with me is so complex.

I don't really talk about my dad much. Not to anyone, mainly because my relationship with my dad is so crazy that I barely understand it. First, he's gonna be 80 years old in January. Second, he's suffering from an aggressive form of rheumatoid arthritis, but more importantly, degenerative disease that affects his memory of the long and short term. He will eventually lose the battle with it, and not remember me, my mother or even the events that have occurred in his own life. Add in the fact that he and I are alike in that we are both stubborn, strong-willed and hard to read, as well as not the most tactful or considerate people and we make a pair. However, with my father's condition, and (assuming) the fact that he is aware of the issues that come with it, he has become softer. He has good days and bad, (more good than bad, for now) and his good ones are filled with love, with pride and with genuine kindness. His bad days are when he's the most disapproving, critical and judgmental. He is probably the one person, because he and I are alike in many ways, who can say the exact thing to make me upset. He knows it too, so when he is sad and hurting and wants me to feel the same way, he hurts me with his words. Despite all that, I can say that I do not doubt that my father loves me. In his own way, his occasional disdain for my life is also his silent approval. He has laughed with me, cried with me, and let me sit in his lap, even at 20 years of age.

My father is a sore subject for me, in relation to this person who is talking ish, mainly because they have not met him. They would not even know my father if he walked past them in the street...and yet, they are alluding that my father is the reason I have gotten certain things in my life. My father, who has had very little to do with the choices that I make, who has had his own health problems and other illnesses to deal with, and if he had any influence over me, would have chosen an entirely different set of rules, is now being accused by this person, this stranger, to have been behind a lot of my successes. Oh, how I wish I could say that. Unfortunately, being his child meant that I'd have to walk my own path, without his help or assistance...and yes, he could have assisted a lot. With money, with phone calls, with an email or two, my father could have shaped a different life for me as if it were no big deal. However, I walk my own path.

I realize now that some "friends" aren't friends at all. And if they certain that they truly are in life for good reasons, they are only pretending and may be pretending to themselves as well. Which is even sicker, in my opinion, and is a solid case for psychiatric treatment. I used to say in high school that true friends stab you in the front. A girl I know, who I was close to once and am not anymore, corrected me and said, "True friends don't stab you at all."

She's right.

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin 

Even more "dramatical" things happening

Hello Everyone,

So since I blogged last, I just wanted to let you know that this Palin-gate mess is starting to come to a huge head, as in it's getting better by the second. I couldn't have anticipated this whole election process better if it was a piece of fiction. After the whole "Whose Baby is it?" fiasco, which brings up a couple of questions that I'll address, there's also Trooper-gate and charges of abuse of power and corruption, which I'll also address, there's the question of the LIE that was told. Reports are saying Governor Palin misled, I'll just go on and say it, the b**ch straight up lied! (And when I say b**ch, I don't mean it in the disrespectful way, but the other way, and that will be the subject of an upcoming blog.)

Tonight, along with the coverage of Hurricane Gustav, I watched as the drama unfolded, via CNN and MSNBC, and there are three charges against Republican Party Presumptive Nominee Senator John McCain's Vice Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska. After I watched, I processed the information, did a bit of research to confirm and wanted to blog right away, just so that I didn't forget it later. So, yet again, for all those who ask me, and there are enough, whether via email, facebook or myspace message or text, is the breakdown.

The first problem is Babygate, also known as the "Who's the Baby Mama?" drama. While there is a little less controversy surrounding the younger child, Trig, who suffers from Down's Syndrome, because of the Governor's statement that he is in fact her child and not the child of her eldest daughter, Bristol. The controversy is now with the fact that Bristol is actually five months pregnant. The Governor did not disclose that to the public before or immediately after accepting the appointment to McCain's campaign. They say she disclosed it to Senator McCain when he asked her to be his VP, but not to the national media. However, when the story was first made public, an aide for Senator McCain said that the her was not aware of the pregnancy. They later, I assume because they did not want McCain to look like an even bigger idiot, "renounced" that statement, saying that aide misspoke, and that McCain was fully aware of the pregnancy and felt it had no impact on his choice. Personally, I have to call bulls**t on that one, because the girl was always seen holding the baby in front of her with a huge blanket in between her and the child. She was hiding that baby, and trying to hide it from McCain as well as everyone else. Now, Palin may have told him before she released a statement to the media, but he didn't know that girl was pregnant. He can deny that all he wants, but I know he didn't, because I believe he would not have picked her to be his VP if he had. Simply put, he did not want any one with any dirt on his ticket because the campaign would have to spend far too much time justifying it, and with less than 70 days to the election, time is of the essence. 

The second problem is Troopergate, which is probably the biggest of them all. Why? If proven, it proves that the Governor has a serious problem with honoring the moral and ethical standards of her office as Governor, will affect her credibility with voters, will affect her ability to reassure donors and voters that she is ready to assume responsibility for one of the most powerful positions in American government, and that she is trustworthy and honest. What's Troopergate, you ask? Simply put, the allegations are that Governor Palin asked Alaska Public Safety Commissioner Walter Monegan to fire a state trooper. There's no problem with that, given certain circumstances, but in this case the trooper was Palin's former brother-in-law. He'd just divorced her sister. That was her sole cause for asking Monegan to fire this trooper. Monegan refused, so he was fired instead. Seems a little weird to me. To make the situation even worse, there seems to have been no background check done on Monegan's successor, because he, Chuck Koop, had allegations of sexual harassment to deal with. I'm not sure if I were Governor of any state, much less Alaska, that I would appoint someone Public Safety Commissioner (in charge of crime prevention and police, as well as the safety of the citizens) who had charges of sexual misconduct in his past. 

This "Troopergate" is starting to come to a bit of head with the announcement of recorded phone calls and emails from the Governor's office to the office of Monegan. As a result, a formal investigation has been launched, and Palin has been appointed legal representation in the matter. This shows that she is not above using pressure and intimidation to get what she wants, and since she touts herself to be a 'champion of reform', proves to be nothing but a hypocrite. Hiding this matter as well, shows yet again that she is untrustworthy and dishonest. If she can lie to the less than one million people who reside in Alaska, she can easily lie to the hundreds of millions who live within the confines of the United States. After all, if you tell a lie a number of times, it starts and begins to feel as if it's the truth. 

The third issue that is the most pressing is that of the LIE that was told. I consider something said once to be construed as misleading, but said more than once to be a lie. At the same speech where Senator McCain announced Palin as his running mate, she told an story about how she turned down an offer from Congress to build a "Bridge to Nowhere". In actuality, the bridge would have connected Gravinia Island in Alaska to Ketchikan International, an airport used by 200,000 people a year and therefore, one of Alaska's main entryways. Governor Palin said just Friday that she told Congress "Thanks, but no thanks." However, in actuality when she was asked if she would continue to allocate state funding for the building of [the same bridge], she replied differently. She said, "Yes, I would like to see Alaska's infrastructure projects built sooner than later. The window is now- while our congressional delegation is in a strong position to assist." Only later, when Congress felt the $@00 million dollar project was met with large disapproval, did Governor Palin start to backpedal and eventually, she canceled the project. She said at the time that they were about 330 million short of the full amount needed to complete the project, and since Congress would not share in the funding, that the project should be shelved if not abandoned altogether. 

There is the additional issue, connected to the Babygate dramatics, that asks the question of parenting. If Palin does not believe in safe sex being taught in schools, only abstinence, and coming from Alaska, a state with extraordinarily high rates of STDs within its teen population, does she not see the fault now in not teaching her child about condom usage? And what kind of impact is this having on poor Bristol. I know if it were me, and everyone was blogging/talking/writing about my pregnancy that I probably had no idea how to handle, I'd be begging my mother to reconsider taking the shot at the Vice Presidency. I personally have to question the judgement of a mother who would leave behind a young infant (the Downs Syndrome diagnosis or not) as well as a young teenager who is dealing with her own lessons in maturity on the world stage, but also with being pregnant for the first (maybe) time. I know that when I am blessed with life growing inside me one day, I will be looking to my mother for support, not to be justifying my behavior to her friends, family and peers. I will want her to help me pick out strollers, and be there for me when I get weepy, not to shy me away from her and pretend as if it's some sort of problem that needs to be justified. We all make mistakes, and unfortunately this young girl has to live hers in the spotlight.

Honestly, this all leads to one result. Governor Palin should step aside, if she's not asked by McCain to do so in the next day or two. I only say that because they both have to be in hiding, and this is not the time to hide, not when they desperately need to be out amongst voters and attending to the affairs of the Republican Convention. CNN gave both Obama and McCain a chance to appear for a short interview on Anderson Cooper 360 to discuss the events surrounding Hurricane Gustav, and only Obama accepted. Cooper made it known that McCain was asked and turned it down. Why turn down publicity at this point of the game? Because there are too many secrets to hide, and this time they aren't McCain's. Besides, Palin needs to be a supportive and loving mother to both Bristol and Trig, and gain real experience. However, if I'm right, and I usually am, the aftermath of all this will leave her out of office after her first term and simply a flash in the pan. And maybe that's best.

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*