Friday Five: Five Lessons Learned in Jail

Hey,

Today's Friday Five is about the Five Lessons Learned in Jail.

{My cousin's husband was a guest of the Florida State Correctional Facility, and when he was released, I asked him if he had any stories of interest about jail. From them, these lessons are derived.}

There are few experiences in life that teach you about your nature, that are both embarrassing and humbling, that are funny and sad, dramatic and fretful while seemingly boring and unforgettable than jail. Getting arrested, however, is not cool.

There is nothing funny or exciting or thrilling about being arrested. I promise, to all the kids looking to toughen up their resumes, jail time isn't it. Get into a street fight and then run like hell when/if the cops show up. Don't ever get arrested.

5- Talk is Cheap

The Bottom Line is, running your mouth to people you don't know and pretending like you got picked up for murder when you simply were disturbing the peace, trespassing or even jaywalking. Even pretending to be a badass is not cool. People know that isn't who you are OR why you are doing your bid. Something in the eyes, the way you walk, your confidence, whatever...they KNOW. People also know people who surely know YOU. I'm sure you are familiar with that bit that the comics do, where they pretend they are the baddest mofo on the planet, and act crazy...it doesn't work. Truth is, everyone in jail, especially in a County facility, is crazy. So pretending to be ain't smart at all. Matter of fact...that sh*t is for the birds.

4- If You Do Talk, Prepare to Back It Up

If you talk about how many asses you can kick in jail, then be assured someone will try to test you. If you try to back down, then you'll get it. FOR REAL. And the guards ain't there to break up sh*t. They will sit and watch and laugh at you getting yo' ass beat, just because you said you were the baddest mofo on your block.

3- If Someone Asks For Your Biscuit, Eat It. Even If You Don't Want It.

In jail, food is synonymous with the social hierarchy. If you give up any food to anyone, that person becomes higher than you on the hierarchy, and you become their footstool. (or their b*tch) So, if you ain't hungry, don't willingly give that ish away. Let them 'hungry' mofos get it out the garbage. Peeing on it beforehand is optional.

2- Songs about Being a Convict Might be Funny, But ACTUALLY BEING a Convict Ain't No Joke, Kid.

Akon might sing somewhat funny songs about being Locked Up and how they "won't let him out", but actually BEING locked up is no laughing matter. Once those bars slam home, and you know that you can't freely roam around, go to look out your window if you want, or even take a late night stroll..it's real. You are no longer you, but a piece of property belonging to that correctional facility. The Smoking Gun says that Akon is no felon, so why would you want to be?

1- In Jail, Time takes on a Different Meaning.

When all you can do is wait on a certain amount of time, it takes ten times as long to arrive. It can take a lot of sanity to deal with it, and in doing so, many people form hobbies. Some carve chess pieces, (like in Shawshank Redemption), other people brutualize people (like in Shawshank Redemption) and other people work out and get super buff. Regardless of that, jail time is lonely, unforgiving and unforgettable.

In Jail, only Boggs will hear you scream...

SO STAY THE HELL OUT OF JAIL! 

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

Falling Out (part I)

Hey,

So the current MisAdventure seems to be the cycle that I've managed to fall into with my ex-boyfriend. The one that I'm always mooning over, the one that one of my best friends, Kelsey, is convinced that I will marry... Mr. Wonderful. 

He and I, we seem to live in this cycle where we love each other, get bored with each other, do things to hurt each other, fall out of love with each other, make up, become friends with each other and then fall in love all over again. It seems, in order for us to complete an entire cycle takes anywhere from 6-10 months. We've done it maybe 3 times. The cycle has existed through other relationships, through dating other people, through our own decisions to stay away from each other and through our own emotional issues. 

Essentially, I'm not strong enough to be hurt over and over...and he's not able enough to recognize that he hurts me. In my effort to rebel against him hurting me, I do things to hurt him and end up feeling guilty about them, but what I don't realize is that my behavior does hurt him and only makes him less likely to change. It's an emotionally draining thing to be involved in, and if I was able to realize it was happening in real time, I'd stop and talk to him about it...but even when I've had the inkling to, I can't.

The thing is, I love him. Even thinking about him now, I smile. But then, the smile gets lost somewhere in the memory of all the drama, late night arguing, tears, pain and feelings of loneliness....but even with all that, I can't imagine my life without him. He's become a part of me, and the longer this goes on I begin to realize that I have a decision on my shoulders. Either I deal with the issues that I have with him head-on, if that means relationship counseling, if that means being uncharacteristically honest with him about how I really feel....or, (and I shudder at the very thought of it) I let him go. I end the cycle right now, in this moment, and I learn to live my life without him. I don't really know how to do that, but I imagine it would be the same as any other loss, moving on and simply taking things one day at a time...one step at a time.

I had my epiphany about this whole situation today, as I was driving around getting some errands done. A song came on my radio via my iPod nano, called "Falling Out" by Keyshia Cole. It pretty much explains how I feel when I'm in the "doing things to hurt him/falling out of love" stage...all the pain, the sorrow, the abandonment, and the loneliness that I feel...it's summed up with her words. In the end of the song, she lets him go...I just hesitate on making that same decision...

I'll talk about my hesitations when I post tomorrow...

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*