So they say people don't dream in technicolor, but just in black and white. I say that even if that's true, since all my recollections of dreams are in color and are vivid, I've decided to use that idea to create a philosophy for life. It is to dream in technicolor, to do the impossible and to force yourself to step it up to the next level.
With that in mind, I have a big decision ahead of me. Massively huge, and one that I cannot come into lightly. The decision is, whether to pursue graduate school overseas for a year, or to go to law school. I say this is a massively huge decision, mainly because I have always wanted to go overseas to study, and study pretty much anything! But, part of me has always wanted to go to law school as well. I'm emotionally conflicted, due to my own desires and it's hard.
I also have a lot of stressful things going on, trying to prepare for graduate or law school, maintain a high GPA so I can graduate magna cum laude like I have always dreamed, and with Honors Recognition. So, I have to get A's all across the board in the Fall and Spring. In order to do that, I have to cut back on my involvement in some of my other activities, like my chaotic love life. LOL.
Speaking of my love life, I'm content being single for once. I know what I want and need, and I'm prepared to wait and sacrifice other things for it. However, I am convinced I will not find anyone worth making a commitment to until I get to the graduate program, whether it be law school or graduate school, of my choice.
Love is crazy, and the feeling of being in love is just as vital. Without it, how can someone be as excited about getting cute, doing the hair, waxing your neither regions, etc...knowing that a potential date or crush object will see you, versus just doing it for yourself. I have decided to turn that desire to be in love into a strong self-love relationship with myself. So, in keeping with that, I will take myself out on "dates", doing things that I love. Even when I am in a relationship, I've always done things for me by myself, BUT this is different.
I first discovered these self-dates when my mother was having a rather large party at my house. I have to get you to understand that my mother is like Martha Stewart on crack. She's big on cooking, entertaining..whereas I'm not. I see my home as my place of escape from people...and inviting the very people I wish to escape from into it is like traveling to the depths of hell. I'm just more private, I guess. Maybe that's only child syndrome, I don't know. However, when she decided to throw this party, I made the decision to pack up my cat and leave the night before and hang out all day and come home the next night after her party was over.
So, I pack my cat up and drive to this pet-friendly hotel in the South Suburbs of Chicago. There, both my cat and I slept and ate food that was totally indulgent...I think he had a kitty version of Chicken Kiev and I ate a full three course meal, garlic risotto with chanterelle mushrooms, a rosemary pesto cream linguini with shrimp and an apple tart with french vanilla ice cream for desert. Yes, I love food. No, I'm not overweight. No, I don't eat like that all the time. That morning, when I was able to move again from stuffing my face, I worked out for about two hours, and then I swam in the hotel pool. Afterwards, I met a very strange man who tried to hit on me. Then, I got the cat and took him to the daycare, (yes, daycare for cats exists) and went to buy a new piece of software for my laptop, and then hit up a sushi and sashimi bar for lunch with two of my homegirls from Georgetown (GO HOYAS!) and then we went to get our nails and hair done. Afterwards, we stopped at a bachelorette party for one of their sister's, where I had stripper penis in my face for about an hour and a half. I wasn't the most comfortable with that though. LOL. Private penis dances are one thing to enjoy, but with a group of women all acting like they never even saw one before....notsomuch.
Yes, this date happened to be extravagant, and I don't recommend each self-date be as elaborate, by no means am I recommending people spend all their cash on themselves..but make it a point to do something for you and you alone. Whether it's going to get a manicure or a massage or going to see a movie or just buying a pair of pants or taking a drive somewhere (if you can afford the gas), just doing something that you love to get time with yourself, it will be great. You will feel better about yourself, you can de-stress, you can get to know yourself and enjoy who you are.
Since it's summer, I plan on spending a lot of time tanning and being more active outside, clearing my head and focusing on the law school vs. grad school decision. I will be blogging, and writing more love, romance and sex advice. So hit me up with questions. I'll do my best to answer everything.
*Ashley Robin*
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