I've been talking to a friend on myspace about the state of females today and I just felt the need to share part of the discussion. Apparently, instead of being happy that a fellow female is doing well, living life drama-free and happy, maybe even in love with someone great, or just in love with life, some women (not all, since some are the ones who are targets) conspire and try their damndest to bring them down all in a fit of jealousy. They deny it, saying they 'ain't concerned with that bitch', etc, and try to claim they are so secure and confident in who they are, but overall, they're just really sad people. P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C.
It hurts me to see this happen, with the ladies because 1) I am a female and 2) I come from a place where this simply did not happen. I hate to say it, but it's the Midwestern girls. My time in New York as a teen and child, I grew up around confident girls who didn't backstab, conspire to humiliate or talk about each other behind each other's back or feel the need to debase themselves for attention or popularity. There has to be something about the water out here, maybe, that just makes it normal female behavior to knock someone else of the same gender. Think about it ladies, have you ever been out, doing your damn thing, looking and feeling good, and you notice a girl or two or three, sitting or standing in a corner, looking or pointing at you and whispering. When you get closer to them, you hear, "that bitch thinks she's better than so and so..." it goes on and on. In my last relationship that happened constantly. Everytime we went out, "that bitch thinks she's so dope because she's with him" and so on...when actually, it's not me who thought I was tight business, it was my man, since he made me his girl! LOL. Even though to this day, he thinks I'm wonderful and pays me all the attention when I'm around, practically ignoring other women. It's an issue that was a problem while we were together. Ironic. But that's another blog.
Back to my point...in my life it's happened to me more times than I can count and even moreso now that I've got a nice car, a great job and money coming in, great prospects in school and am happy. I hear it, "that bitch thinks she's raw because she got all that hair..." when it's not me who thinks I'm 'raw', they obviously must, since all they do is hate. To bring it back to what my friend and I were discussing on myspace, women also feel they have to use their sex to make up what they lack in confidence, self-esteem and intelligence. Because although using 'what you got' to get a man's attention is cool in a moment, it never lasts. It's the brain power, the sensuality of an idea, the 'less is more' philosophy that keeps a man interested in the long term. Trust me, after having been in relationships for no less than a year a piece, I know. We gotta do better. This can't be how things work.
If you like what someone is doing, don't tear them down, ask them how they got there. If you like an outfit, pair of shoes, accessory or someone's hair...ask them where they got it, who does it, etc...it's the only way to kill the pattern. No more lowering standards and becoming a hater to feed some need to be jealous and envious. It's not healthy. Matter of fact, it's not even constructive. It's P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C. What are your thoughts, men and women? Please comment. Let me know if it's just me.
Ash
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