Let's Be Straight Up For Once! I am...

Hey,

I've decided that I'm not gonna sit on my blog and lie about what my intentions are in terms of dating and mate searching. I want a guy who is willing and who wants to take care of me. There, I said it. And before everyone gets all up in arms about me being a girl digging for gold, giving me money is NOT what I mean. 

Wu-Tang said it best, "Cash rules everything around me/C.R.E.A.M. get the money/dolla dolla bills y'all"

I am not a gold-digger. I do not need someone to take care of me to the point where my life style changes, or that I'm dependent on a guy. When I say I want someone to take care of me, I mean that essentially chivalry, the very idea that my parents raised me on, is dead. I want to revive it, not only for myself, but for all the women of the world. When I say I want someone to take care of me, I mean that I want someone that knows more chance than not I won't be able to pay the bill if we go to some lavish place because of my school status so he'd not mind paying for me if necessary. He'd rub my feet after a hard day, to know when to bring me dragon maki rolls if I'm feeling down, to get me a Red Bull if I am on the verge of an all nighter, to open doors for me, to tell me I'm beautiful when my nose is red from blowing it, that I'm sexy when I'm bloated and that my worries are his. I guess I want a partner more than a boyfriend. That's what I mean when I say take care of me. Maybe that's too much for dating nowadays, but there are glimmers of hope. 

Today's MisAdventure is about this need that women say they have for a man with money. I was talking to a group of friends and I'm not going to say who, but pretty much all of them were saying that they needed a man to have money. When I asked what that means, they all looked at me as if I was speaking some language they did not understand. I asked again, "What does that mean?". Basically, I was informed that a man with money is needed because these women like "nice sh*t". But my question is, what are you bringing to the table? If a man is good looking, has a job, a car, a place and has money....he's bringing the "A" game. If you're struggling, just in school with no job, and staying at the parent's house while borrowing their car to get to and fro...what do you bring? Don't get it twisted, I'm all for a guy bringing things to the table, but let's be sure that you aren't just selling yourself to the highest bidder. It disgusts me that the world has become so focused on material, that they ignore substance. More worried about Benjamins instead of IQ points. Sad, sad, sad.

So, of course when I voiced that opinion, I was bullied and pretty much kicked out of the conversation...because I believe that relationships should start on equal footing. That the things that are lacking from one partner should be compensated by the other, and so forth. 

But conversely, I have to ask the question: Why are we as women afraid to demand what we want, and follow it? Why are we lowering our standards for the benefit of a relationship? What does that prove? It only allows more opportunity for heartbreak, emotional turmoil and DRAMA. Bitter feelings, ill will, resentment, all that can be a factor when settling in a relationship. However, in the world, how do we know if we are settling? How do we know if someone is not our equal? In my experience, I've tried to follow my gut and my instinct. I've tried to be as honest and open about what I want in a partner, and maybe that's why I'm single. Maybe my needs, and the needs of other women are so high...that we end up alone. Temporarily or permanently, but it will be and is by choice.

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

This Time Next Week/The Way Things Happen/Solo Explorations

I'll be school. Starting next week, I will be a senior in college. Last year of undergrad has finally arrived. Part of me is very conflicted, but the other part is relieved to be that much closer to law school. That's the goal, to go to law school. Everything I do now, in terms of my academics, is related to that. It is not a joke studying for this LSAT though, and I've decided to go on and admit that I need outside help. If I can't get into a class in time for the October test, I'll definitely get in one in time for the December test.  This cartoon is definitely on the money, as far as the time needed to study, it feels like 15 years! LOL...but in the meanwhile, I'll be getting everything together..just didn't realize there are so many fees involved! There's registration fees, LSDAS fees, application fees, document copy fees, transcript fees, and the list goes on and on. I just hope that I score high enough on the test to get into the law school of good financial aid programs (scholarship, anyone) and of my choosing. When I have more of a list of the schools I plan to apply to, I will share it, but now I'm just doing a lot of research into it.

So, a while ago, I was kind of discussing my lack of love life. All of a sudden, it seems as if I've got contenders in the ring showing interest to date me. It's weird how just when you start to think that the possibility of a love life is temporarily M.I.A., you find that you were wrong. And from the most unlikely people as well...people you figure either didn't notice you for one reason or another, or just didn't picture yourself with. By no means does that say I'm on the verge of finding my Mr. Robin, not at all, BUT there are guys who are interested in me and have made that interest known and that's what I wanted...just to feel..wanted. :-) Now, I do, so I feel like there's hope for the MisAdventures to actually become real adventures after all. I just hope that it doesn't cause me to have to change the blog or myself too much, because my misadventures are what keep people coming back to read and read. Even though hardly anyone comments, trust, I get plenty of emails in regards to this blog, so I know that someone out there (including you, Reader X) are currently enjoying reading about my goofy exploits and observations in love and life.

I've also happened to discover that there's some sort of a weird stigma about a woman doing things alone. I don't get that, maybe someone out there can make it clear to me. Just yesterday evening, I was telling a guy friend of mine, a friend who I know wants to be more than a friend,  about my desire to go to Great America before the summer is over, and I won't be able to enjoy any of the rides, especially the addition of a new roller coaster designed after the newest Batman movie, The Dark Knight.  For those of you not from the Chicagoland area, Great America is a nearby theme park full of roller coasters, water rides, etc, similar to Great Adventure or Disneyland, but with Bugs Bunny instead of Mickey Mouse. Well, lo and behold, he starts hemming and hawing, like he was assuming and therefore expecting me to just ask him to take me. Personally, I don't know if I can stand certain people that long, including him. He's kind of boring. But, before it even got to that, I cut him off by saying that I planned on going by myself. Do you know what this S.O.B. did? He LAUGHED. As if that was funny. For some reason, I was slightly pissed. Not only did this guy proceed to say that he thought it funny because women need someone to go with to such a "big place" but also that he'd never think I would actually do it, because I'm "too afraid to be alone". I was shocked, because while this guy is a friend, I realized he doesn't know me too well. 

So it begs the question: Are women really too chicken to do things alone? Or are they just afraid of what others will think?

I'm not. I haven't really delved too into my history before writing this blog, because lord know who reads it, but I spent almost 3 years living on my own in Washington D.C. I lived in the dorms of Howard University for a year, and then I moved out and got my own place for two years after. I worked a full-time job, went to school and socialized, all on my own. I had no escort from the train to my job or from the bus to my job or anywhere else I went. If I went to a club, (which I spent about 50% of my time there doing), I was going solo, sometimes to meet folks, sometimes not. When I was too drunk to even see straight, I called cabs. Hell, I even puked in the backseat of one. (I gave that guy a $40 tip on a $10 fare for that one). And when I went to Adams Morgan for late night pizza and beer, and was hit on by guys from American, Georgetown, George Washington and Catholic, I was solo. So, it kind of hurt my heart that this guy thought I was that dependent on company, specifically male company to escort me on my adventures of an outing. 

So, I've decided, as soon as my car is ready, I'm taking myself to Great America for the day. Alone. Even though now, it seems like there are plenty of guys willing to take me. How's that for irony?

*Ashley Robin*