Romancing the Sex

Hey all,

I'm not sure where I've been the last few days, weeks, months, years...but I was suddenly introduced to the idea of sex being a huge deal. I guess I always knew of people who believed it to be a massive thing, some sort of entity that they carry around with them, this idea of "massive sex". However, I do not share that philosophy. Not that I'm some random whore of a woman who sleeps with anyone I come into contact with, I just do not feel that sex can be held up to that high of an ideal. Because, like most ideal concepts, if they are held too high, they eventually shatter. Herein develops the theory of "real bad sex". I have had enough experience in the world to know that the longer you feign for something, desire it, dream of it, when 'it' happens...well, 'it' may not live up to the expectations you had. Like a good slice of New York pizza or chocolate ice cream when thought of too long, sex can become uninteresting, unimaginative and distasteful. 

So, imagine my surprise when I happened to come across an individual who feels sex is a pretty big deal. This individual, of more than average intellect, physical characteristics and wit, was able to tell me that each time they had sex it meant something to them, and it was indeed some sort of peak in a relationship. However, when I presented my idea that maybe sex is routine for some, and should not be the reason why so many women end up on "Snapped", why so many people go missing, why so many spouses end up dead or divorced...they were unable to explain why they felt this way, other than to say it was what they were taught as a child. Hmm...really?

Let's be honest. In ancient times, when sex was required in order to create more members in a society, it was not some special thing. Most men, who were deemed desirable in their physical traits in those days were told to have sex as often as possible in order to create desirable heirs to their name.  Only with the overpopulation of humans, the concept of love as well as marriage between two people lasting forever, did the idea of the physical representation of a union (sex) grow the emotional and "big deal" ideology that stands today. Also, with the addition of unwanted pregnancy, disease and feelings of lust disguised as love that can come as the result of an orgasm (male or female), sex has become more a "mental game" than a simple physical activity designed to create children, which, by the way, happens to feel good to both partners. I've thought about this while trying to build thoughts to discuss sex on the radio show, and I'm sure that not everyone will agree. However, I ask that they take the disease, the possible resulting children and even love out of the equation. The act of sex is not the "head game", but the dealing with the partner. Therefore, "Romancing the Sex" shouldn't happen. Leave the romance for later.

A.

Paging Mr. Right Now

I haven't posted in a while because I've been busy, been tired and honestly, haven't had much to say. I'm enjoying my summer, I guess, but I'm realizing that I'm starting to take mu whole independence and re-emergence as an independant woman to another level. Women typically get called bitches and mean if they exhibit the persona of someone who wants to take things to another level, expects only the best and nothing less and desires perfection, which even though it doesn't exist, should always try to be attained.

With my high expectations in mind, I've tried to start dating. Dating is interesting, because it basically is just an exercise. The guy shares a part of himself, the most impressive part, with a girl who does the same. If they like what each other has to say, usually a second date follows, where more part-sharing happens, it's just that this time, the part they share tends to be a bit more like who they are, just not as impressive as the initial date. Personally, I hate it. I think it sucks. I go on dates, and I'm who I am. What you see is exactly what you're gonna get. That's why I don't get my hair 'did' for them, i don't try to wear anything not like me, I try to be as authentic to who I am as possible...even if that means there is no second date.

Lately, I've just been blah about the whole practice, but my mom and godmom are saying, that a girl my age should date, even if I find it horrible. Have fun, they say...enjoy life. Is it bad to say that I find more fun in reading Dostoevsky than sharing a meal with some random guy, who probably, in the final analysis, probably doesn't even know who that is? That I'd rather watch movies on Turner Classic than go to some overrated, overcrowded, overpriced nightclub? That I'd rather babysit my younger cousins than sitting around "hoping" a guy will call when he says he will...which rarely happens, unless you're in a relationship and even then...cross your fingers.

Dont' get it twisted, I'm not bitter. I do eventually want Mr. Right. However, I'd rather wait for him then try to satisfy myself with a Mr. Right Now. Mr. Right's around the corner, though, I can feel it. He won't message me with three words or less, either. LOL.

XoXo,
Ashley Robin