The Drama with the Passport!

hey,

i've been out of the blogging game for a while, but for good reason. i have good news, though, and that is that i'm going to europe this summer. very exciting, and the trip is very wonderful. i'm planning it all out now, which is pretty much consuming my time outside of school and the doctor. as far as the medical, i'm doing so much better...and i consider this trip to be a reward for myself. 

so, today i went to get my passport for the first time. well, i should have not listened to my mother's friend at the passport office, and just went to the post office like normal. however, he told us that i needed to go downtown to the official passport office to get it. well, i get down there, park my car and am off. this begins the hellish adventure of obtaining my us passport.

first, i have to go get my passport photo. i go in the little shop, and a spanish speaking old lady points to the stool. so, i sit down. no warning, no nothing, but a giant flash goes off in my face. i must look confused, because she says, "you go" and points off to her side. so i get up, and a few minutes later, my picture comes out, and in it...i look like someone slapped me. so i ask for a retake. this time, i look like grimace the grouch because i'm trying to keep my eyes from widening so big from the bright light. disgusted, i take the photo and leave. (I'm getting my bank to reverse that charge). 

i go to the passport office, and it is PACKED full of random people. so i leave, and am told i can apply at a post office across the street. i go there, and the most mentally lacking person who mumbles everything starts reading all the details on my application. now, that's one thing, but then she starts revealing my details to everyone around. that's right, she starts READING my application out loud in louder than normal speaking volume. She didn't believe I lived in englewood, etc...

finally, i finish there and head out to go get my car and go home. i walk down the street and see two boys tripping a nun, and laughing. so, me being a catholic and young woman, i help her get up and collect her belongings that she dropped as she fell. then i make sure she's fine and proceed to tell the boys (once she is out of earshot) about what her outfit represents and that by tripping her, they have condemned themselves to eternal hellfire. 

so, I get my car and drive back home, killing a seagull. i ran it over with the car, and i still feel guilty. but, it was either swerve and whack an old woman or whack the seagull. since seagulls can't sue me, i figure it's time to say bye to the bird. 

after that, i realized i'd been dinged twice on my card for a charge i never made, and then...i got hit on by....THE CORN MAN.

all of chicago knows this man...he rides or walks up and down thoroughfares on the south side selling the mexican corn...which is a roasted corn on the cob (or in a cup) with mayonnaise, mexican cheese and sometimes has hot pepper on it. because i am light skinned, and wear my hair curly, i am often thought of as latino. and because i was in a latin area of the city, i guess he felt like he could holler. but he was at least 40, had about three front teeth, and was wearing a sombrero, pushing his corn cart down the street. he even asked for my number! i was beyond mortified, especially when all my friends i was meeting saw him talking to me when honestly, i just wanted the corn. 

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

A Bit of Irony

Hey,

I have been feeling tired, exhausted and like something was draining me for weeks. I go so hard on things that I do in life, that I usually am the last one to realize if something is wrong with me physically. I've been taught from a young age that pain is nothing but a hinderance, that you suck it up, ignore it, will it away, wish it away, and it does everything you tell it.

However, last Friday, I could not ignore the pain anymore. My mother and I went to the ER after the pain was so bad that it caused me to swoon, and subsequently, I passed out. 

Eight hours later, I was found to have a really bad kidney infection. How does one get a kidney infection? Well, a few days before, I'd had stomach flu really bad. The doctors believe that the virus somehow didn't die, but traveled instead to my right kidney, which already is weak, and infected it. I also have found out that I have other issues which have contributed to the infection, but I'll keep those private for the moment.

The point is, I now find myself in a position where I cannot even attend school because it is far too uncomfortable to sit in a chair for a long period. I went to my classes today, and found myself in agony to the point of screaming. And because of the infection and antibiotics, I can't take anything for the pain stronger than Tylenol #3, and I'm downing them like breath mints to no avail. I think I took 3000 mg of Tylenol today alone. Sad stuff, I know. Until I rid myself of the infection, I can't have any surgery or medical procedures done to rid myself of the pain. The one procedure I do have on my schedule is for next week, where I will get a dye injected into my kidney to see if there is any scarring. There is also another one, where I will be injected with something to pretty much force all the gunk in me out. *Sorry if that's TMI*

I tend to take everything that happens in stride. Here I was, exercising and working towards running a marathon, and now part of me isn't sure what will happen to me next. I swear, I just feel like I'm climbing an uphill battle and I've got cement blocks in my feet.

So the irony comes in a bitter pill for me. I wanted to slow down, and now I have to. I can't will my body to heal faster, and I can't force myself to do what I can't do. I'm hoping that Monday will bring me a better chance to bear it all though. I can't wish for Thursday soon enough.

ARGHHHH!

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

Today Would Have Been:

Hey,

Today, I'm a bit bummed. I know that I am bummed and blue because of many different reasons. One of the reasons is that I have to return to school on Tuesday (Wednesday if I can get the okay to watch the Inauguration). I'm not looking forward to school mainly because I have spent more time stressed there then anywhere else. Last semester was so rough for me, emotionally, just because a lot of drama happened. And ironically, most of the drama was not my doing, for a change. I was unwillingly pulled into a situation that was out of my control and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. Because it happened, I was accused of having part in its creation, and the drama followed me as a result of that accusation. It sucked, and I looked forward to the break to just get away from it. And I did. While I didn't travel anywhere major, I was absolutely stress-free. I enjoyed talking to my dad, hanging out with my mom, sipping hot toddies and watching Jerry Springer. I'm sad to say goodbye to that time.

Another reason I'm bummed is because of the weather. When it gets cold, I tend to just retreat into myself, and not really want to do much of anything. I find that I get bored with being in the house, but unable to push myself into the world. It's a weird limbo that I live in, and while I don't like it, I find comfort in it. However, this cold is unlike anything I've ever seen. It moves, it breathes, and it just turns people into....assholes. Today, I was out in the cold, trying my best to be polite to people, and not only did some man try to steal my shopping cart at the store, in his efforts to take the cart (which had my cell phone and keys in it) he pushed me into the snow. I was lucky in that I could grab my stuff before he disappeared into the store, but what if I'd been unable? I was shouting at him that I'd grabbed the cart, but he didn't care. At all. I wasn't hurt by it emotionally or physically, but it was just the rudeness that hit me just like the cold. Hard, insensitive and unrelenting.

I'm also going through a stage where in my recovery of my past relationship that I begin to feel sorry for myself. Overall, mainly because it looks like I'll have a whole year after graduation to kill before I go to law school. And I know that in that year, time may go by slowly or fast, depending on what I am doing with myself. For example, my mom asked me when I was going to start dating again, and I had to excuse myself so that I wouldn't cry. Pathetic, I know, but I'm just feeling a little off center. I've not had much luck with relationships, and I'm starting to feel like I'm not meant to. And before anyone says it, I'm not whining, or even looking. I guess it's the inertia of my life, the uncertainty of what's to come. I can plan my semester, even a few weeks or so after, but the rest...remains unknown. With the job market being even more depressing and unrelenting than the cold, it just seems like next year, I'll be doing nothing but blogging and writing. Which is okay, but unless I get some crazy idea to make an income off of it or join a cult start work for PrePaid Legal it won't pay my student loans. 

Thank god for Forbearance!

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

Roland Burris, Senator? Maybe, or Maybe Not.

Hey,

So, I was on my couch, taking a break from writing, and I happened to turn on CNN. Now, I'd read the news that Gov. Blago planned on appointing someone to the Senate seat, but I did not read about who the person was, simply because I wanted to be surprised to find out what idiot had actually accepted the man's phone call, much less agreed to be photographed or seen in public with him.

Enter Former Illinois Atty General Roland Burris, 71.

No one can deny that Mr. Burris has had a long history in Illinois politics, that he has been known for his ability to keep on trucking despite three gubernatorial losses, as well as being the first African-American politician to serve in a state-wide Illinois position. 

However, some who know Burris say that he also speaks of himself in the third person, is career-motivated and serves as spokesman for the Help Roland Burris Make Money and Be Powerful campaign. I had an encounter with Burris when I was a child, and I did not like him. I just had one of those "lights are on but no one is home" moments with him. My mother met him also, independent of my experience, and not only was he condescending, she said he just seemed lemming-ish. Now, we all know lemmings are not leaders. They follow. And Barack Obama as a Senator might have been many things, but lemming-ish was not one of them. 

The drama begins...

It's like a bad made for TV movie. I can just picture it, "Close but Yet So Far: The Roland Burris Story" on Lifetime Movie Network. Rod Blago would be played by Eric Roberts. The press conference alone was a circus. First, Blago says that he's been loving the attention he's been getting, then Burris starts giving shoutouts at the podium, which led to Congressman Bobby Rush (who looked terrible...like he might be sick or something) coming up on the stage and basically telling the media that anyone who did not support Burris as a Senator from Illinois is racist. 

Meanwhile, Harry Reid, leader of the Democratic Caucus said before Blago announced Burris as his pick that whoever Blago picked would not be confirmed by Senate Democrats. Due to the fact that I was bored at home, I looked up cases to see if what Senator Reid was saying is legit. According to US Supreme Court ruling on a case of Powell v. McCormack in 1969, if Illinois Congress approved the appointment of Burris to the US Senate, then Reid and the other Democrats would have to let him take the seat, and then convene a special vote, which would require a 2/3 vote in favor of expelling the new Senator. Honestly, they aren't going to go through all of that, it's too much effort to get a vote together, and there are more important things Given the poor attendance record of most Senators, that might prove more difficult then thought. Also due to Bobby Rush making the case for race, many senators may not even want to vote in such an election, just so they didn't have to even deal with the 'appearance' of being racist. Imagine Jesse Jackson and PUSH marching in front of Senators offices all along Capitol Hill carrying signs saying "Racist Senator works here".

Right on his heels, Illinois Secretary of State Jesse White has said that as far as he is concerned, Burris will not get through the appointment process. However, as the Secretary of State, he has a duty to basically approve and put the official seal on documents that the Governor issues, as well as carry out directives issued by the Governor. It is simply his job to "check the person out" not make a determination of whether or not they are morally qualified to hold such a position. 

However, since it appears the no one, including Blago's lawyer, wanted him to make this appointment, people will now be on a mission to somehow find a way to either make Burris' life hell, tie him in some way to Blago, or create some kind of loophole allowing them to give Burris the boot. What a terrible way to end his career, because from this fiasco, there is no escape.

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

Falling Out (part I)

Hey,

So the current MisAdventure seems to be the cycle that I've managed to fall into with my ex-boyfriend. The one that I'm always mooning over, the one that one of my best friends, Kelsey, is convinced that I will marry... Mr. Wonderful. 

He and I, we seem to live in this cycle where we love each other, get bored with each other, do things to hurt each other, fall out of love with each other, make up, become friends with each other and then fall in love all over again. It seems, in order for us to complete an entire cycle takes anywhere from 6-10 months. We've done it maybe 3 times. The cycle has existed through other relationships, through dating other people, through our own decisions to stay away from each other and through our own emotional issues. 

Essentially, I'm not strong enough to be hurt over and over...and he's not able enough to recognize that he hurts me. In my effort to rebel against him hurting me, I do things to hurt him and end up feeling guilty about them, but what I don't realize is that my behavior does hurt him and only makes him less likely to change. It's an emotionally draining thing to be involved in, and if I was able to realize it was happening in real time, I'd stop and talk to him about it...but even when I've had the inkling to, I can't.

The thing is, I love him. Even thinking about him now, I smile. But then, the smile gets lost somewhere in the memory of all the drama, late night arguing, tears, pain and feelings of loneliness....but even with all that, I can't imagine my life without him. He's become a part of me, and the longer this goes on I begin to realize that I have a decision on my shoulders. Either I deal with the issues that I have with him head-on, if that means relationship counseling, if that means being uncharacteristically honest with him about how I really feel....or, (and I shudder at the very thought of it) I let him go. I end the cycle right now, in this moment, and I learn to live my life without him. I don't really know how to do that, but I imagine it would be the same as any other loss, moving on and simply taking things one day at a time...one step at a time.

I had my epiphany about this whole situation today, as I was driving around getting some errands done. A song came on my radio via my iPod nano, called "Falling Out" by Keyshia Cole. It pretty much explains how I feel when I'm in the "doing things to hurt him/falling out of love" stage...all the pain, the sorrow, the abandonment, and the loneliness that I feel...it's summed up with her words. In the end of the song, she lets him go...I just hesitate on making that same decision...

I'll talk about my hesitations when I post tomorrow...

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

Let's Be Straight Up For Once! I am...

Hey,

I've decided that I'm not gonna sit on my blog and lie about what my intentions are in terms of dating and mate searching. I want a guy who is willing and who wants to take care of me. There, I said it. And before everyone gets all up in arms about me being a girl digging for gold, giving me money is NOT what I mean. 

Wu-Tang said it best, "Cash rules everything around me/C.R.E.A.M. get the money/dolla dolla bills y'all"

I am not a gold-digger. I do not need someone to take care of me to the point where my life style changes, or that I'm dependent on a guy. When I say I want someone to take care of me, I mean that essentially chivalry, the very idea that my parents raised me on, is dead. I want to revive it, not only for myself, but for all the women of the world. When I say I want someone to take care of me, I mean that I want someone that knows more chance than not I won't be able to pay the bill if we go to some lavish place because of my school status so he'd not mind paying for me if necessary. He'd rub my feet after a hard day, to know when to bring me dragon maki rolls if I'm feeling down, to get me a Red Bull if I am on the verge of an all nighter, to open doors for me, to tell me I'm beautiful when my nose is red from blowing it, that I'm sexy when I'm bloated and that my worries are his. I guess I want a partner more than a boyfriend. That's what I mean when I say take care of me. Maybe that's too much for dating nowadays, but there are glimmers of hope. 

Today's MisAdventure is about this need that women say they have for a man with money. I was talking to a group of friends and I'm not going to say who, but pretty much all of them were saying that they needed a man to have money. When I asked what that means, they all looked at me as if I was speaking some language they did not understand. I asked again, "What does that mean?". Basically, I was informed that a man with money is needed because these women like "nice sh*t". But my question is, what are you bringing to the table? If a man is good looking, has a job, a car, a place and has money....he's bringing the "A" game. If you're struggling, just in school with no job, and staying at the parent's house while borrowing their car to get to and fro...what do you bring? Don't get it twisted, I'm all for a guy bringing things to the table, but let's be sure that you aren't just selling yourself to the highest bidder. It disgusts me that the world has become so focused on material, that they ignore substance. More worried about Benjamins instead of IQ points. Sad, sad, sad.

So, of course when I voiced that opinion, I was bullied and pretty much kicked out of the conversation...because I believe that relationships should start on equal footing. That the things that are lacking from one partner should be compensated by the other, and so forth. 

But conversely, I have to ask the question: Why are we as women afraid to demand what we want, and follow it? Why are we lowering our standards for the benefit of a relationship? What does that prove? It only allows more opportunity for heartbreak, emotional turmoil and DRAMA. Bitter feelings, ill will, resentment, all that can be a factor when settling in a relationship. However, in the world, how do we know if we are settling? How do we know if someone is not our equal? In my experience, I've tried to follow my gut and my instinct. I've tried to be as honest and open about what I want in a partner, and maybe that's why I'm single. Maybe my needs, and the needs of other women are so high...that we end up alone. Temporarily or permanently, but it will be and is by choice.

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

This Time Next Week/The Way Things Happen/Solo Explorations

I'll be school. Starting next week, I will be a senior in college. Last year of undergrad has finally arrived. Part of me is very conflicted, but the other part is relieved to be that much closer to law school. That's the goal, to go to law school. Everything I do now, in terms of my academics, is related to that. It is not a joke studying for this LSAT though, and I've decided to go on and admit that I need outside help. If I can't get into a class in time for the October test, I'll definitely get in one in time for the December test.  This cartoon is definitely on the money, as far as the time needed to study, it feels like 15 years! LOL...but in the meanwhile, I'll be getting everything together..just didn't realize there are so many fees involved! There's registration fees, LSDAS fees, application fees, document copy fees, transcript fees, and the list goes on and on. I just hope that I score high enough on the test to get into the law school of good financial aid programs (scholarship, anyone) and of my choosing. When I have more of a list of the schools I plan to apply to, I will share it, but now I'm just doing a lot of research into it.

So, a while ago, I was kind of discussing my lack of love life. All of a sudden, it seems as if I've got contenders in the ring showing interest to date me. It's weird how just when you start to think that the possibility of a love life is temporarily M.I.A., you find that you were wrong. And from the most unlikely people as well...people you figure either didn't notice you for one reason or another, or just didn't picture yourself with. By no means does that say I'm on the verge of finding my Mr. Robin, not at all, BUT there are guys who are interested in me and have made that interest known and that's what I wanted...just to feel..wanted. :-) Now, I do, so I feel like there's hope for the MisAdventures to actually become real adventures after all. I just hope that it doesn't cause me to have to change the blog or myself too much, because my misadventures are what keep people coming back to read and read. Even though hardly anyone comments, trust, I get plenty of emails in regards to this blog, so I know that someone out there (including you, Reader X) are currently enjoying reading about my goofy exploits and observations in love and life.

I've also happened to discover that there's some sort of a weird stigma about a woman doing things alone. I don't get that, maybe someone out there can make it clear to me. Just yesterday evening, I was telling a guy friend of mine, a friend who I know wants to be more than a friend,  about my desire to go to Great America before the summer is over, and I won't be able to enjoy any of the rides, especially the addition of a new roller coaster designed after the newest Batman movie, The Dark Knight.  For those of you not from the Chicagoland area, Great America is a nearby theme park full of roller coasters, water rides, etc, similar to Great Adventure or Disneyland, but with Bugs Bunny instead of Mickey Mouse. Well, lo and behold, he starts hemming and hawing, like he was assuming and therefore expecting me to just ask him to take me. Personally, I don't know if I can stand certain people that long, including him. He's kind of boring. But, before it even got to that, I cut him off by saying that I planned on going by myself. Do you know what this S.O.B. did? He LAUGHED. As if that was funny. For some reason, I was slightly pissed. Not only did this guy proceed to say that he thought it funny because women need someone to go with to such a "big place" but also that he'd never think I would actually do it, because I'm "too afraid to be alone". I was shocked, because while this guy is a friend, I realized he doesn't know me too well. 

So it begs the question: Are women really too chicken to do things alone? Or are they just afraid of what others will think?

I'm not. I haven't really delved too into my history before writing this blog, because lord know who reads it, but I spent almost 3 years living on my own in Washington D.C. I lived in the dorms of Howard University for a year, and then I moved out and got my own place for two years after. I worked a full-time job, went to school and socialized, all on my own. I had no escort from the train to my job or from the bus to my job or anywhere else I went. If I went to a club, (which I spent about 50% of my time there doing), I was going solo, sometimes to meet folks, sometimes not. When I was too drunk to even see straight, I called cabs. Hell, I even puked in the backseat of one. (I gave that guy a $40 tip on a $10 fare for that one). And when I went to Adams Morgan for late night pizza and beer, and was hit on by guys from American, Georgetown, George Washington and Catholic, I was solo. So, it kind of hurt my heart that this guy thought I was that dependent on company, specifically male company to escort me on my adventures of an outing. 

So, I've decided, as soon as my car is ready, I'm taking myself to Great America for the day. Alone. Even though now, it seems like there are plenty of guys willing to take me. How's that for irony?

*Ashley Robin*

The MisAdventures of a Cripple

Hey,

So as I mentioned a few entries back, specifically in the entry I named "The Weird Day" that I got into a car accident. You can read about that here. Anyway, resulting from the car accident, I find that I am not totally unharmed as I thought. I am known for getting into crazy incidents and surviving totally unharmed, and as such, earned the nickname "SuperWoman". Not this time. 

Can you believe that I, me, fractured my wrist in the course of the accident? Ever so slightly, but more than a hairline. It was discovered a few days after, and I didn't even want to blog about it because I'm a little depressed. No car, no rental (because my insurance company, specifically my agent is a total b**chass) and now, little use of my right hand. And yes, I'm right-handed. Upon going to the hospital, I was told my wrist was fractured and a cast was put on. However, I hated that thing and immediately had it taken off, as soon as I discussed the matter with my doctor. He gave me a bunch of ace bandages, a brace (which I'll never wear in public because it looks like a medieval torture device), and a prescription for vicodin (for extreme pain and even then I'm supposed to take half a pill) as well as tylenol 3. It's summertime, and I'm totally bummed out. The pic is me and my injury. I feel even sorrier for myself just looking at it.

Scrapping that, today's mis-adventure. Why the hell do I have so many crazy people in my life?! I've got a friend, who I love truly, but let's face it, the guy is one syllable away from being placed into a mental institution. If you think I'm elaborating or embellishing...I'm not. If you think I'm just messing with you, I'm not.  

Now, I think the guy is bipolar with a dash of manic depression and some paranoia thrown in for sh**s and giggles...but I'm no psychotherapist. This guy, my friend, says he goes to see a therapist, but I doubt it...because if this dude came into my practice, he'd be in a straitjacket. He goes from happy to sad in one second, recalls conversations and events that did not occur by any means, and forgets things that happened moments before. He'll deny he said or did something less than 5 minutes after he said it. I feel bad for the guy, he's been through enough in his life, but some in-patient therapy could seriously help him. I get scared because I think he's liable to off himself. He's talked about it before, no joke. The only reason why I haven't just totally thought he was going to do it is due to the fact that he has a job, has a career and lives his life, so he's just functionally insane. And while it's alarming to know someone who is functionally insane, it's fairly common in today's world. So, while today's entry isn't really funny, it's just me asking out loud:

What can I do to help this guy? Or is it even my responsibility?

Let me just say-to add some humor-washing your own ass with a brace on your wrist...is REALLY HARD! The nurse gave me these bag things that look like massive shower caps, and I just stick my arm into it, and it's like a shower cap for my brace, wrist and arm up to the elbow. Because one hand is encased in plastic, you are essentially washing your self with one hand, because the bagged hand just freaks me the hell out, reminds me of some porno-esque scene out of a B-movie horror film ...and forget washing your hair. It just takes wayy too long, even though my hair is short..I've got a huge head. The first time I used the ziploc baggie, I was in the shower about an hour. Used all the hot water and had to rinse myself off to the sounds of my own moaning and teeth chattering from the icy water that was left in the reservoir. Yesterday, I almost didn't want to shower because it was so awkward, but I finally broke down and asked my mom to help me. She obliged, of course, and even asked me if I needed help today, but it and this whole 'crippled' experience has made me realize that I really, really, really need a boyfriend. He'd wash my ass for me, no problem. Hell, even a good f**k buddy would! (I hope..)

*Ashley Robin*

An update

Hey,

I just wanted to write a quick post thanking everyone for the emails, ims, phone calls and other ways to express their thoughts for me and Kevin during this time. It is nice to know people care. I also wanted to write and let you know that Kevin is awake, but in terrible pain and being sedated to keep down the pain. He will be moving to a hospice tomorrow where he can rest and feel better for being out of the hospital. I can't really cry anymore, or think about it too hard because I simply get upset. It's hard to be calm in times like these, but knowing people are there and care about us makes me feel better. So thank you.

Ashley Robin

Dreaming in Technicolor/Choices

Hey Everyone,

So they say people don't dream in technicolor, but just in black and white. I say that even if that's true, since all my recollections of dreams are in color and are vivid, I've decided to use that idea to create a philosophy for life. It is to dream in technicolor, to do the impossible and to force yourself to step it up to the next level. 

With that in mind, I have a big decision ahead of me. Massively huge, and one that I cannot come into lightly. The decision is, whether to pursue graduate school overseas for a year, or to go to law school. I say this is a massively huge decision, mainly because I have always wanted to go overseas to study, and study pretty much anything! But, part of me has always wanted to go to law school as well. I'm emotionally conflicted, due to my own desires and it's hard. 

I also have a lot of stressful things going on, trying to prepare for graduate or law school, maintain a high GPA so I can graduate magna cum laude like I have always dreamed, and with Honors Recognition. So, I have to get A's all across the board in the Fall and Spring. In order to do that, I have to cut back on my involvement in some of my other activities, like my chaotic love life. LOL.

Speaking of my love life, I'm content being single for once. I know what I want and need, and I'm prepared to wait and sacrifice other things for it. However, I am convinced I will not find anyone worth making a commitment to until I get to the graduate program, whether it be law school or graduate school, of my choice. 

Love is crazy, and the feeling of being in love is just as vital. Without it, how can someone be as excited about getting cute, doing the hair, waxing your neither regions, etc...knowing that a potential date or crush object will see you, versus just doing it for yourself. I have decided to turn that desire to be in love into a strong self-love relationship with myself. So, in keeping with that, I will take myself out on "dates", doing things that I love. Even when I am in a relationship, I've always done things for me by myself, BUT this is different. 

I first discovered these self-dates when my mother was having a rather large party at my house. I have to get you to understand that my mother is like Martha Stewart on crack. She's big on cooking, entertaining..whereas I'm not. I see my home as my place of escape from people...and inviting the very people I wish to escape from into it is like traveling to the depths of hell. I'm just more private, I guess. Maybe that's only child syndrome, I don't know. However, when she decided to throw this party, I made the decision to pack up my cat and leave the night before and hang out all day and come home the next night after her party was over.

So, I pack my cat up and drive to this pet-friendly hotel in the South Suburbs of Chicago. There, both my cat and I slept and ate food that was totally indulgent...I think he had a kitty version of Chicken Kiev and I ate a full three course meal, garlic risotto with chanterelle mushrooms, a rosemary pesto cream linguini with shrimp and an apple tart with french vanilla ice cream for desert. Yes, I love food. No, I'm not overweight. No, I don't eat like that all the time. That morning, when I was able to move again from stuffing my face, I worked out for about two hours, and then I swam in the hotel pool. Afterwards, I met a very strange man who tried to hit on me. Then, I got the cat and took him to the daycare, (yes, daycare for cats exists) and went to buy a new piece of software for my laptop, and then hit up a sushi and sashimi bar for lunch with two of my homegirls from Georgetown (GO HOYAS!) and then we went to get our nails and hair done. Afterwards, we stopped at a bachelorette party for one of their sister's, where I had stripper penis in my face for about an hour and a half. I wasn't the most comfortable with that though. LOL. Private penis dances are one thing to enjoy, but with a group of women all acting like they never even saw one before....notsomuch.

Yes, this date happened to be extravagant, and I don't recommend each self-date be as elaborate, by no means am I recommending people spend all their cash on themselves..but make it a point to do something for you and you alone. Whether it's going to get a manicure or a massage or going to see a movie or just buying a pair of pants or taking a drive somewhere (if you can afford the gas), just doing something that you love to get time with yourself, it will be great. You will feel better about yourself, you can de-stress, you can get to know yourself and enjoy who you are. 

Since it's summer, I plan on spending a lot of time tanning and being more active outside, clearing my head and focusing on the law school vs. grad school decision. I will be blogging, and writing more love, romance and sex advice. So hit me up with questions. I'll do my best to answer everything.

*Ashley Robin*