Back Again for the 2nd Time

Hey,

I know I have not posted in a while, but a lot (and believe me when I say a lot) has been going on in my life. So many misadventures to tell you about, I hardly know where to begin.

I hate to say it, but the past two weeks have been strange. I find myself constantly on the move, busy with things, and between schoolwork, catching up on sleep and trying to get my head back into the academic game, I'm dragging. Not really sure why, but Im just not getting the sleep I want, I don't have the energy or passion I need to function, and Im just..drained and bored.

I just found out today that my May graduation has been pushed to December. Why? Because of a god***n technicality. Nothing else. So I have two options, be pissed about it OR take advantage of my situation. I'm going to do the latter. I've decided to stay on at my school for the Fall Semester, and take some additional classes that can help me if I choose to go into a Masters/JD Program. I also am still taking my trip, and getting my bike. Nothing stops. I have learned to not stress myself with things out of my control, and unfortunately, my advisor not being the least bit accommodating, is one of them.

I have an internship in the PR Department of a local hospital. I enjoy it, but I'm always so damn tired...and it seems as if my presence is the bane of the Department Coordinator's existence. I try to do my job as best as I can, but some people just ain't morning people. I seem to be one of them. Not a morning person, but one of the night people, I mean.

Im getting an iPhone tomorrow as a late Christmas gift to myself, so I'll be able to blog more as I go about my day. I promise not to have such a lag in it.

Sad day about Blago being impeached, kicked out of office and banned from holding any Illinois office as long as he lives. I, being someone who loves the law, believes in being innocent until proven guilty. I think that he should have resigned, and while he did not want to do that, there is someone who could have gotten the message through to him that the cards were stacked against him. Honestly, I've liked Blago. Any man who can personally ask me for my vote as I ride in my car and even lean out his Black SUV and down into my droptop convertible to shake my hand at a stop light at 67th and Cottage Grove is my governor, plain and simple.

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

Today Would Have Been:

Hey,

Today, I'm a bit bummed. I know that I am bummed and blue because of many different reasons. One of the reasons is that I have to return to school on Tuesday (Wednesday if I can get the okay to watch the Inauguration). I'm not looking forward to school mainly because I have spent more time stressed there then anywhere else. Last semester was so rough for me, emotionally, just because a lot of drama happened. And ironically, most of the drama was not my doing, for a change. I was unwillingly pulled into a situation that was out of my control and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. Because it happened, I was accused of having part in its creation, and the drama followed me as a result of that accusation. It sucked, and I looked forward to the break to just get away from it. And I did. While I didn't travel anywhere major, I was absolutely stress-free. I enjoyed talking to my dad, hanging out with my mom, sipping hot toddies and watching Jerry Springer. I'm sad to say goodbye to that time.

Another reason I'm bummed is because of the weather. When it gets cold, I tend to just retreat into myself, and not really want to do much of anything. I find that I get bored with being in the house, but unable to push myself into the world. It's a weird limbo that I live in, and while I don't like it, I find comfort in it. However, this cold is unlike anything I've ever seen. It moves, it breathes, and it just turns people into....assholes. Today, I was out in the cold, trying my best to be polite to people, and not only did some man try to steal my shopping cart at the store, in his efforts to take the cart (which had my cell phone and keys in it) he pushed me into the snow. I was lucky in that I could grab my stuff before he disappeared into the store, but what if I'd been unable? I was shouting at him that I'd grabbed the cart, but he didn't care. At all. I wasn't hurt by it emotionally or physically, but it was just the rudeness that hit me just like the cold. Hard, insensitive and unrelenting.

I'm also going through a stage where in my recovery of my past relationship that I begin to feel sorry for myself. Overall, mainly because it looks like I'll have a whole year after graduation to kill before I go to law school. And I know that in that year, time may go by slowly or fast, depending on what I am doing with myself. For example, my mom asked me when I was going to start dating again, and I had to excuse myself so that I wouldn't cry. Pathetic, I know, but I'm just feeling a little off center. I've not had much luck with relationships, and I'm starting to feel like I'm not meant to. And before anyone says it, I'm not whining, or even looking. I guess it's the inertia of my life, the uncertainty of what's to come. I can plan my semester, even a few weeks or so after, but the rest...remains unknown. With the job market being even more depressing and unrelenting than the cold, it just seems like next year, I'll be doing nothing but blogging and writing. Which is okay, but unless I get some crazy idea to make an income off of it or join a cult start work for PrePaid Legal it won't pay my student loans. 

Thank god for Forbearance!

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

So the Stress CONtinues

Hey Everyone,

I am bugging big time. Stressed the hell out. Between midterms, law school applications and writing this personal statement, I am a bit like Joe Stress pictured to the left. Not that bad yet, but I could get there...

The problem that I have with stress is that I have no proper outlet for it. I've tried everything but exercise, and that's happening soon. So, we'll see what happens.  My plan is to train for a marathon, so I'm running little by little, building up my endurance, and when I get some more money, I'm going to join a gym to start my strength/resistance  weight training.

Other than all the law school/midterms and other school related things, I'm dealing with stress of my friend Kevin and the death of his grandmother, my other friend Kelsey and her wedding next year that I'm the maid of honor in, and part of me is worried about a date. I know that it's a year away, and I know that I have all this stuff going on around me, and I'm stressing about a date. I know that it is weird and trivial, I know, but I don't want to be THAT girl. You know the one, the girl who comes to weddings alone. The girl who sits in the back of the room sipping on a martini watching as everyone else dances and drinks and mingles. That girl isn't going to be me. Not that having a date is the cure to that, I can be a guest without a "+1" and be perfectly content...but in the year from now and the day of the wedding, I guess I'll just have to accept my single-ness. Or single-dom. Who knows?

Does it make you sad that you're single? Does it automatically mean that you are desperate for love and attention? I'm not particularly sad, or desperate, but I do wish I had a person that I could call to take me to one event or escort me to another. I don't. It also doesn't help that many of my friends are engaged, and getting married. 7 couples in 3 weeks. Craziness. I am not saying that I want or need to be married or engaged to feel happy, because no one knows what goes on with those 7 couples behind closed doors, but I guess I'm just one of those people who likes having a guy on speed-dial. A guy that's not Kevin, because he just doesn't count.

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*