For the first time in a long time, my life has been relatively stress-free. It's a weird feeling to not have any drama, conflict or issue going on. All of my MisAdventures are relatively easily solved. I ended my cycle relationship with my ex-boyfriend, and things between us have been excellent. We've always been close no matter what, and probably will continue to be.
Last night, a mutual friend of ours got engaged. We all knew he was going to propose, and he wanted to ask her to marry him in front of all his and her friends. So, we headed to dinner at this really nice place out in the Schaumburg area, and because we hadn't told this group of friends we had broken up, we decided to just wait until after Rodney proposed. We both agreed that this night was Rodney and Amber's night, and our news would just take away from it. Anyway, he picked me up and off we went, just talking about things.
We got to the dinner, and did our best "couple" behavior with all of our coupled friends, sitting by each other, and even laughing and joking. When Rodney proposed, all of the men took the hands of their dates, and my ex took my hand, just like the rest of them. When all the women giggled and grinned at Amber's engagement ring, so did I. But even though the behavior matched, there was something missing. It was if by lying to them, we were lying to each other, and the longer the lie went on, the longer we both realized that it would end, and we would go back to being just two people.
It's hard ending a long relationship like that, going from being a fixture in social settings to just going back to being regular folk. Rodney told my ex and I at the dinner that part of the reason that he proposed was because he had watched us together, and realized because of us, he realized he was in love with Amber and didn't want to spend a moment without her. I was more than happy to hear that, but also sad because we couldn't last. It's interesting, to mourn the loss of a relationship. Like an old friend, it changes just as you do, grows as you grow, and adapts with you. The other person in the relationship is just like you, learning, changing and growing...and it seems as if they should serve as your parallel. In the case of my past relationship, neither of us wanted to let it go. We decided to do what was best for the both of us, and it has worked out so far. Events like the engagement dinner however, serve as terrible reminders. Anyway, I made it through it, with no kind of awkwardness.
As far as the one who got away, that situation resolved itself rather nicely. However, I find that now there are others who are interested in me. Why is that as soon as I free myself from one situation, there seem to be others who are interested. However, if I'm not attached at all, there's no one around? It's almost as if there's some kind of signal that recently single or attached women give, like they just smell better to men or something. It makes no sense to me at all...I'm clueless about it. If I could get a man's opinion on it, I'd be able to know more. It's just one of those things that makes little to no sense in all the issues of the world. So frustrating.
Thoughts?
*Ashley Robin*
