I'm in a rut. I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen, except it's not. Have you ever felt that way? Kinda like you were waiting on someone to take you somewhere, but they never showed and didn't call? So you're standing around, waiting, anxious and looking forward to going wherever they were supposed to take you?
Ladies and gentlemen, that sums up how I've been feeling for the past month and some change. I'm sure part of it is me wanting a change of scenery, not wanting to be in school anymore, feeling like it is taking forever to get my goals accomplished, and not really feeling inspired to pursue anything. I've never felt so out of sorts, except when I was attending Howard, and I ended up dropping out to run around the country with John Kerry and John Edwards. (And we all know how that turned out...haha). What's funny is, I can't remember being happier in that time, when I was in one city one day, on the bus to somewhere else the next...and trust me, it had nothing to do with politics. It was just exciting. So, I think I've found my solution. I'm planning on trying to go abroad next fall...it'll be a change of scene, pace and I'll be exposing myself to a whole new set of things. Plus, I may just decide to stay....who knows? The world can change and shift on a dime....and my world can too.
This decision plays into another one...as far as me putting myself back into a relationship. I'm at the point where I know I'm ready for one, but because I have this whole get-up-get-out attitude, it might be a killer on any possible chance I'd have of starting one. Plus, I've had blinders on my eyes for so long and it's been too long since I've actually even dated, I wouldn't even know where to start. Certainly not at school....guys are hard to find, well, guys that I'm interested in...(I am picky, you know...) All I can say is, we'll see. Who knows what will happen in the next few days, weeks, months. I'm about to go handle some bizness, but that's my current frame of mind right now.
Ashley Robin
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