The Drama with the Passport!

hey,

i've been out of the blogging game for a while, but for good reason. i have good news, though, and that is that i'm going to europe this summer. very exciting, and the trip is very wonderful. i'm planning it all out now, which is pretty much consuming my time outside of school and the doctor. as far as the medical, i'm doing so much better...and i consider this trip to be a reward for myself. 

so, today i went to get my passport for the first time. well, i should have not listened to my mother's friend at the passport office, and just went to the post office like normal. however, he told us that i needed to go downtown to the official passport office to get it. well, i get down there, park my car and am off. this begins the hellish adventure of obtaining my us passport.

first, i have to go get my passport photo. i go in the little shop, and a spanish speaking old lady points to the stool. so, i sit down. no warning, no nothing, but a giant flash goes off in my face. i must look confused, because she says, "you go" and points off to her side. so i get up, and a few minutes later, my picture comes out, and in it...i look like someone slapped me. so i ask for a retake. this time, i look like grimace the grouch because i'm trying to keep my eyes from widening so big from the bright light. disgusted, i take the photo and leave. (I'm getting my bank to reverse that charge). 

i go to the passport office, and it is PACKED full of random people. so i leave, and am told i can apply at a post office across the street. i go there, and the most mentally lacking person who mumbles everything starts reading all the details on my application. now, that's one thing, but then she starts revealing my details to everyone around. that's right, she starts READING my application out loud in louder than normal speaking volume. She didn't believe I lived in englewood, etc...

finally, i finish there and head out to go get my car and go home. i walk down the street and see two boys tripping a nun, and laughing. so, me being a catholic and young woman, i help her get up and collect her belongings that she dropped as she fell. then i make sure she's fine and proceed to tell the boys (once she is out of earshot) about what her outfit represents and that by tripping her, they have condemned themselves to eternal hellfire. 

so, I get my car and drive back home, killing a seagull. i ran it over with the car, and i still feel guilty. but, it was either swerve and whack an old woman or whack the seagull. since seagulls can't sue me, i figure it's time to say bye to the bird. 

after that, i realized i'd been dinged twice on my card for a charge i never made, and then...i got hit on by....THE CORN MAN.

all of chicago knows this man...he rides or walks up and down thoroughfares on the south side selling the mexican corn...which is a roasted corn on the cob (or in a cup) with mayonnaise, mexican cheese and sometimes has hot pepper on it. because i am light skinned, and wear my hair curly, i am often thought of as latino. and because i was in a latin area of the city, i guess he felt like he could holler. but he was at least 40, had about three front teeth, and was wearing a sombrero, pushing his corn cart down the street. he even asked for my number! i was beyond mortified, especially when all my friends i was meeting saw him talking to me when honestly, i just wanted the corn. 

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

I Told You So!

Hey,

While I recuperate from my illness that I wrote about here, I am literally under instruction to "take it easy". Many people who know me know that I am not a person who does that. So I find myself in a bit of a Catch-22. As a result, I find myself looking at a lot of articles and watching a lot of CNN. As of today, I just have four words for all those who doubted me. They are:

I told you So.

A while back, the whole scandal erupted with my former Governor and official Hero, Rod Blagojevich and his Senate Appointee, Roland Burris. At the time, they could not reject Burris' appointment simply because Blago (as I affectionately call him), was allegedly dirty. Now, we all know Blago got thrown out of office and Burris proceeded to step all over his body to get an alley-oop into the Senate. Now, it appears that karma is a b**ch and she's pissed off at Roland Burris.

An article has come out in the Chicago Sun-Times that states that Roland Burris is more than likely going to be investigated for perjury. For those of you not sure of how perjury comes into play, Burris testified to the Illinois House Impeachment Committee in early January that he had no contact with Blagojevich or any of his staff in regards to the Senate appointment. Now, it appears that that may be a false statement. In an affidavit, which is a certified legal document, the Senate appointee admits that he spoke with Blagojevich's brother, Robert, in regards to a possible $10,000 donation to his campaign or campaign support upon his becoming the Senator from Illinois. 

I am laughing my ass off right now, because it feels so great to be right. The wrongs of corruption should be corrected and Burris should be kicked out of office. Being found guilty of perjury alone is a charge serious enough to cost a practicing attorney their legal license to practice law. In theory, a politician can be stripped of their title for such. Look at President Bill Clinton, who was impeached for perjury. We all know what happened there.

So, with Blagojevich saying that even though he was out of office, we would hear more from him about names, times and places, as well as making sure any and all affiliated with any of the crimes he was thrown out of office for, with these affidavit, and now all these balls rolling in a direction to get Burris out of the Senate, as many (myself included) have wanted from the beginning, a man that no one wanted in office initially, except those who didn't really understand the dynamics going on around it, I say finally, Karma is a b**ch.

I just wonder where "Senator for less than six months, perjurer and overall failure to the people of Illinois" will fit on his massive tombstone "monument" to himself in Oak Woods Cemetery on the South Side of Chicago, Illinois. 

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

A Bit of Irony

Hey,

I have been feeling tired, exhausted and like something was draining me for weeks. I go so hard on things that I do in life, that I usually am the last one to realize if something is wrong with me physically. I've been taught from a young age that pain is nothing but a hinderance, that you suck it up, ignore it, will it away, wish it away, and it does everything you tell it.

However, last Friday, I could not ignore the pain anymore. My mother and I went to the ER after the pain was so bad that it caused me to swoon, and subsequently, I passed out. 

Eight hours later, I was found to have a really bad kidney infection. How does one get a kidney infection? Well, a few days before, I'd had stomach flu really bad. The doctors believe that the virus somehow didn't die, but traveled instead to my right kidney, which already is weak, and infected it. I also have found out that I have other issues which have contributed to the infection, but I'll keep those private for the moment.

The point is, I now find myself in a position where I cannot even attend school because it is far too uncomfortable to sit in a chair for a long period. I went to my classes today, and found myself in agony to the point of screaming. And because of the infection and antibiotics, I can't take anything for the pain stronger than Tylenol #3, and I'm downing them like breath mints to no avail. I think I took 3000 mg of Tylenol today alone. Sad stuff, I know. Until I rid myself of the infection, I can't have any surgery or medical procedures done to rid myself of the pain. The one procedure I do have on my schedule is for next week, where I will get a dye injected into my kidney to see if there is any scarring. There is also another one, where I will be injected with something to pretty much force all the gunk in me out. *Sorry if that's TMI*

I tend to take everything that happens in stride. Here I was, exercising and working towards running a marathon, and now part of me isn't sure what will happen to me next. I swear, I just feel like I'm climbing an uphill battle and I've got cement blocks in my feet.

So the irony comes in a bitter pill for me. I wanted to slow down, and now I have to. I can't will my body to heal faster, and I can't force myself to do what I can't do. I'm hoping that Monday will bring me a better chance to bear it all though. I can't wish for Thursday soon enough.

ARGHHHH!

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

Back Again for the 2nd Time

Hey,

I know I have not posted in a while, but a lot (and believe me when I say a lot) has been going on in my life. So many misadventures to tell you about, I hardly know where to begin.

I hate to say it, but the past two weeks have been strange. I find myself constantly on the move, busy with things, and between schoolwork, catching up on sleep and trying to get my head back into the academic game, I'm dragging. Not really sure why, but Im just not getting the sleep I want, I don't have the energy or passion I need to function, and Im just..drained and bored.

I just found out today that my May graduation has been pushed to December. Why? Because of a god***n technicality. Nothing else. So I have two options, be pissed about it OR take advantage of my situation. I'm going to do the latter. I've decided to stay on at my school for the Fall Semester, and take some additional classes that can help me if I choose to go into a Masters/JD Program. I also am still taking my trip, and getting my bike. Nothing stops. I have learned to not stress myself with things out of my control, and unfortunately, my advisor not being the least bit accommodating, is one of them.

I have an internship in the PR Department of a local hospital. I enjoy it, but I'm always so damn tired...and it seems as if my presence is the bane of the Department Coordinator's existence. I try to do my job as best as I can, but some people just ain't morning people. I seem to be one of them. Not a morning person, but one of the night people, I mean.

Im getting an iPhone tomorrow as a late Christmas gift to myself, so I'll be able to blog more as I go about my day. I promise not to have such a lag in it.

Sad day about Blago being impeached, kicked out of office and banned from holding any Illinois office as long as he lives. I, being someone who loves the law, believes in being innocent until proven guilty. I think that he should have resigned, and while he did not want to do that, there is someone who could have gotten the message through to him that the cards were stacked against him. Honestly, I've liked Blago. Any man who can personally ask me for my vote as I ride in my car and even lean out his Black SUV and down into my droptop convertible to shake my hand at a stop light at 67th and Cottage Grove is my governor, plain and simple.

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

Dream a Little Dream...

Hey,

Today is a sad day. I realized that today I put a wall up when it comes to people. Not just in my relationships, but friendships and whatnot. I'm very guarded, which is something that was hard for me to admit. So, I'm sad. I believe that I've always allowed myself to be an asshole, someone who listened and never spoke, and when I did speak, the words weren't as honest as the words I'd heard from others. Oh, I've known for a long time that I'm an asshole in certain ways, and that I, like most people, can be pretty self-serving, but in this time that I've spent stress-free, I've had the chance to learn about myself, and know more about the girl who stares back at me when I look in the mirror. 

First, she's not a girl, she's a woman. A woman who knows what she wants, and when she wants it. A woman who won't settle, who will do anything for her family and who is loyal to her friends to a fault. A woman who finds humor in the crude, wise and intellectual things, and who gets her kicks from reading about policy law. A woman who is learning to smile more, to be more open and to not hold herself to some incredibly high standard, a standard so high that she doesn't even hold others to it. It's unrealistic for them, and now, as I've learned, is unrealistic for me. There is no formula to life, and there is no appropriate time to do things, except when the time feels right and the stars are aligned. (If you believe in that sort of thing)

So, I'll learn to dream a little, to not worry about having a plan and to move forward naturally, not because of pressure from others, the outside world and the need to feel as if whatever I'm doing is 'acceptable'. 

On A More Personal Note, I forgot to mention...

Happy Belated Birthday Aaliyah Dana Haughton, who would have been celebrating her 30th birthday, January 16th, 2009. 

I miss her a lot...she truly was an angel on earth, heaven sent. 

Rest Forever in Heaven, and Rest In Peace.

Love You.

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

Today Would Have Been:

Hey,

Today, I'm a bit bummed. I know that I am bummed and blue because of many different reasons. One of the reasons is that I have to return to school on Tuesday (Wednesday if I can get the okay to watch the Inauguration). I'm not looking forward to school mainly because I have spent more time stressed there then anywhere else. Last semester was so rough for me, emotionally, just because a lot of drama happened. And ironically, most of the drama was not my doing, for a change. I was unwillingly pulled into a situation that was out of my control and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. Because it happened, I was accused of having part in its creation, and the drama followed me as a result of that accusation. It sucked, and I looked forward to the break to just get away from it. And I did. While I didn't travel anywhere major, I was absolutely stress-free. I enjoyed talking to my dad, hanging out with my mom, sipping hot toddies and watching Jerry Springer. I'm sad to say goodbye to that time.

Another reason I'm bummed is because of the weather. When it gets cold, I tend to just retreat into myself, and not really want to do much of anything. I find that I get bored with being in the house, but unable to push myself into the world. It's a weird limbo that I live in, and while I don't like it, I find comfort in it. However, this cold is unlike anything I've ever seen. It moves, it breathes, and it just turns people into....assholes. Today, I was out in the cold, trying my best to be polite to people, and not only did some man try to steal my shopping cart at the store, in his efforts to take the cart (which had my cell phone and keys in it) he pushed me into the snow. I was lucky in that I could grab my stuff before he disappeared into the store, but what if I'd been unable? I was shouting at him that I'd grabbed the cart, but he didn't care. At all. I wasn't hurt by it emotionally or physically, but it was just the rudeness that hit me just like the cold. Hard, insensitive and unrelenting.

I'm also going through a stage where in my recovery of my past relationship that I begin to feel sorry for myself. Overall, mainly because it looks like I'll have a whole year after graduation to kill before I go to law school. And I know that in that year, time may go by slowly or fast, depending on what I am doing with myself. For example, my mom asked me when I was going to start dating again, and I had to excuse myself so that I wouldn't cry. Pathetic, I know, but I'm just feeling a little off center. I've not had much luck with relationships, and I'm starting to feel like I'm not meant to. And before anyone says it, I'm not whining, or even looking. I guess it's the inertia of my life, the uncertainty of what's to come. I can plan my semester, even a few weeks or so after, but the rest...remains unknown. With the job market being even more depressing and unrelenting than the cold, it just seems like next year, I'll be doing nothing but blogging and writing. Which is okay, but unless I get some crazy idea to make an income off of it or join a cult start work for PrePaid Legal it won't pay my student loans. 

Thank god for Forbearance!

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

Friday Five: Five Thoughts to Keep in Mind When Approaching a Woman

Hey,

So it took me a little while longer than usual to come up with my list for this Friday and is actually getting posted late..(my bad). It's my gift to men, and it's the five thoughts to keep in your mind when you approach a woman. This list does not apply to men looking to seek the boughetto, one-nighter or 'popped' woman. No disrespect to them, but this is the list for a man who has an intelligent, articulate, wife-type in his sights.

5- Frumpy= Dirty+ Smelly, therefore Frumpy= U Solo.

Men should understand that women are not naive. Generally, most of us are interested in a man with a command for the English language. So walking up and speaking gibberish like, "sup lil mama, u lookin gud in dat dere dereons, nowhaimean shawty? what up!" is bound to get you the "what the hell" face? Just as how you speak is important, how you look is just as, if not more so, important. I only say that due to the fact that most people base their first impressions of people not on what is said, but by what they see. Even if your vocabulary is on point, and you show her that you were not required to ride the short bus to school as a kid, that you didn't need special tutoring to learn how to "read good", if you look like a lame ass, Cash Money records reject, you will get shot down more times than not. If you want a girl who is not ghetto, white tees, gold fronts, Timberlands, and fake gold chains are not what's hot. Neither is hot breath, dirt stains, yellow teeth and uncombed hair. You have to dress the part to get the girl you want. Now, if any of the aforementioned is what you are, that leads us to Thought #4.

4- Be Yourself, even if That Self is an Ass.

If you are a nasty, grimy, stank-breath having, car bumming, broke, jobless, aimless, lazy, freeloading mama's boy, then you need to go after women who will want to take care of you. Likewise, if you are a guy who takes three hours to get dressed for a function, whose eyebrows are perfectly arched all the time, and who is often asked questions about his sexuality, then you need someone ready to handle that also. Also, if you are uneducated, unintelligent, and obnoxious, you need someone to be supportive of that. I can only say that presenting the woman of your choice with who you are from the moment you met her is vital, simply because it prevents drama from happening later. *Drama, for example, being a pot of hot grits thrown on you, something that is best known to have happened to legendary singer Al Green. 

3- Being a Know it All is NOT Attractive. Shut Up and Listen.

Albert Einstein was a genius. However, even he got crappy grades. How does that relate to your approach? Well, men who seem to know it all don't wind up with the girl. While it is great to look well versed and know what you are talking about (you don't want to come off as an idiot) you don't want to seem to battle her for the title of "Most Intelligent Person in the World" within a few days or outings with her. It's all about listening and observing, allowing her to control the conversation, simply because you learn more about her, and you also show that you don't need to be in the driver's seat every single time you interact. It also helps to let her stay within her comfort level, and trying to "teach" her about something may backfire because it can drag her, kicking and screaming out of it.

2- Confidence is JUST Like Cologne. Too Little, You Can Barely Notice It. Too Much, and It's Way Overpowering.

There is a need for cologne and confidence. However, you have to know when to stop putting on both the confidence AND the cologne. Some men use being overconfident as a crutch because they can rely on it to round out their nerves. Others use lack of confidence to come off as genuine, and 'real'. However, both approaches to it can be wrong, depending on how you play it. Women can detect it, however, so keep in mind that your confidence level counts. You should know in your mind that this woman is going to want to get to know you, but she shouldn't realize that you know this. Subtle, my Rhett Butler in training, is the key word. 

1- As Play said, Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Ice Cube said it too. In those cases, it meant threats of harm of some kind. In this case, it means, make sure you are together physically and mentally before you step out and try to get the attention of the young lady. Make sure your hair is neat, breath is fresh, that you smell right, that your clothes are clean, as are your nails and that you have means to get her information. New school: cell phone. Old school: paper and pen. Just make sure you look nice, that you know what you are going to say and how you are going to say it, as well as the impression you want to leave. Don't dally, don't stutter, don't slur, don't drool, don't fidget aimlessly and don't, WHATEVER YOU DO, don't look off into the distance during the conversation. Women don't like that. 

It's So Hard Being Cold

Hey,

So, I'm in Chicago, home of the 30 below temperatures. The weather, as told by Amy Freeze of Fox News, (enter obvious joke here), is going to be so cold that people are advised to stay indoors unless they absolutely must have to venture outside. With that in mind, what do you think my plans are? Yep, you guessed it, to go outside.

So, why am I venturing out into below zero temperatures, to face the "frozen tundra" and potentially risk frostbite on my person? Simple. I have a date with waffles. Specifically, some of my female friends and a plate of waffles. Fried chicken and extra maple syrup is optional. (But still great.) I don't know if I'll actually do the chicken since I have yet to eat meat in 2009, but we will see. One of my goals for 2009 was to lower the amount of meat I ate, if not cut it out altogether.

I guess I value time with my friends more than I do my fingertips, and maybe that's just dumb. Or, I just really love the taste and the smell of chicken and waffles. But I've got gloves, a hat and a good coat, so I guess that's the most important thing. Meanwhile, I hope and pray that those waffles keep me warm. 

Meanwhile, let me just say that I am not happy about Roland Burris becoming my Senator.I even wrote Durbin a letter in response to it, telling him that I refuse to even acknowledge that man as a Senator-elect. Granted, he has BIG shoes to fill, but still...the man is an idiot and just as big an egomaniac as Blago, if not more so. People hate Blago in Illinois, but any man who has a shrine to himself erected in a cemetery before his actual demise....yeah, no comment there. I just hope that the next two years fly by and someone worthy wins the seat in election. If Burris runs for it, I pray that Lisa Madigan (the person who I felt should have been appointed) runs and kicks his ass in the primary.

More blogs are coming, and I'm always looking for inspiration for more. So hit me up!

Thoughts?

*Ashley Robin*

I Will Not Be Seeing Notorious

Hey,

If you haven't realized from reading the blogs that I've written so far, I'm a New York native. And unlike many of the posers, I am not from the suburbs, from some weird place near New York City, I am from there. I was born and raised (for a while) on the South Side Jamaica Queens, home of 50 Cent and a bunch of other of those jokers, as well as my favorite rapper NaS. So, anytime that anything New York related comes out towards Chicago, people I know ask me my opinion on it. So, there's this movie coming out about Biggie. After a nationwide search, they found an unknown actor to play him, and this actor (Jamal Woodard) said he went to Juillard to work with a vocal coach to get the voice of Biggie down. 

*Dead*

Even with the fascination I have for Biggie's life and learning more about him...

There's one reason and one reason only why I will not be going to see Notorious. 

Lil' Kim is not with it.

And as her fan, I gotta support her.

Say whatever you want, but I love Lil' Kim. She's my favorite female rapper, period. I'm not a fan of some of her ho-ish antics, but she is who she is. After meeting her and going to her concerts on more than one occasion during my summers in New York, I can say that her music is a perfect representation of her. She is who she is. Like her or not, she's gonna be that. If you like it, buy the cd... if not, go f**k yourself. That's her mantra, and as a confident woman, I love that! I've always been more of a Kim fan than a Big fan. I liked the stories that Big told in his songs, but I loved the passion and arrogance that Kim brought to hers. Even if the story was about some random sexual encounter, or even how some wanna be tried to holla, her delivery was bananas to me...and I had to get as much of her music as possible. When my mom found out I was listening to her, she made me give her all of my Kim cd's with the intent to throw them away, which made me so upset. Then, before she threw them away, I asked her to listen to my side and not just the words. When she realized that I wasn't taking the words as edicts for my own behavior, she let me have them. Happy day! LOL. I even had my mom listening to some of her stuff...and while she never really understood why "such a pretty girl just had to be so trashy", she allowed me to keep my Lil Kim music. 

I even dressed up as her in high school, for favorite celebrity day senior year, and I took my costume from this video. The song is called "No Matter What People Say" and my costume was just like her outfit at 2:39. It took me a week to make it, and I had a blonde wig dyed like hers. I even memorized the entire dance sequence and "performed" as I went about my business that day at school. 

We all know that Big and Kim had a relationship, and it was full of passion, determination and strength...possibly even more so than the relationship that Big had with Faith. And my girl does not like the movie, more specifically, the way she is portrayed in it. So, like her, I'll catch it on bootleg, on cable or if ever. 

*Thoughts?*

Ashley Robin