Friday Five: Five Thoughts to Keep in Mind When Approaching a Woman

Hey,

So it took me a little while longer than usual to come up with my list for this Friday and is actually getting posted late..(my bad). It's my gift to men, and it's the five thoughts to keep in your mind when you approach a woman. This list does not apply to men looking to seek the boughetto, one-nighter or 'popped' woman. No disrespect to them, but this is the list for a man who has an intelligent, articulate, wife-type in his sights.

5- Frumpy= Dirty+ Smelly, therefore Frumpy= U Solo.

Men should understand that women are not naive. Generally, most of us are interested in a man with a command for the English language. So walking up and speaking gibberish like, "sup lil mama, u lookin gud in dat dere dereons, nowhaimean shawty? what up!" is bound to get you the "what the hell" face? Just as how you speak is important, how you look is just as, if not more so, important. I only say that due to the fact that most people base their first impressions of people not on what is said, but by what they see. Even if your vocabulary is on point, and you show her that you were not required to ride the short bus to school as a kid, that you didn't need special tutoring to learn how to "read good", if you look like a lame ass, Cash Money records reject, you will get shot down more times than not. If you want a girl who is not ghetto, white tees, gold fronts, Timberlands, and fake gold chains are not what's hot. Neither is hot breath, dirt stains, yellow teeth and uncombed hair. You have to dress the part to get the girl you want. Now, if any of the aforementioned is what you are, that leads us to Thought #4.

4- Be Yourself, even if That Self is an Ass.

If you are a nasty, grimy, stank-breath having, car bumming, broke, jobless, aimless, lazy, freeloading mama's boy, then you need to go after women who will want to take care of you. Likewise, if you are a guy who takes three hours to get dressed for a function, whose eyebrows are perfectly arched all the time, and who is often asked questions about his sexuality, then you need someone ready to handle that also. Also, if you are uneducated, unintelligent, and obnoxious, you need someone to be supportive of that. I can only say that presenting the woman of your choice with who you are from the moment you met her is vital, simply because it prevents drama from happening later. *Drama, for example, being a pot of hot grits thrown on you, something that is best known to have happened to legendary singer Al Green. 

3- Being a Know it All is NOT Attractive. Shut Up and Listen.

Albert Einstein was a genius. However, even he got crappy grades. How does that relate to your approach? Well, men who seem to know it all don't wind up with the girl. While it is great to look well versed and know what you are talking about (you don't want to come off as an idiot) you don't want to seem to battle her for the title of "Most Intelligent Person in the World" within a few days or outings with her. It's all about listening and observing, allowing her to control the conversation, simply because you learn more about her, and you also show that you don't need to be in the driver's seat every single time you interact. It also helps to let her stay within her comfort level, and trying to "teach" her about something may backfire because it can drag her, kicking and screaming out of it.

2- Confidence is JUST Like Cologne. Too Little, You Can Barely Notice It. Too Much, and It's Way Overpowering.

There is a need for cologne and confidence. However, you have to know when to stop putting on both the confidence AND the cologne. Some men use being overconfident as a crutch because they can rely on it to round out their nerves. Others use lack of confidence to come off as genuine, and 'real'. However, both approaches to it can be wrong, depending on how you play it. Women can detect it, however, so keep in mind that your confidence level counts. You should know in your mind that this woman is going to want to get to know you, but she shouldn't realize that you know this. Subtle, my Rhett Butler in training, is the key word. 

1- As Play said, Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Ice Cube said it too. In those cases, it meant threats of harm of some kind. In this case, it means, make sure you are together physically and mentally before you step out and try to get the attention of the young lady. Make sure your hair is neat, breath is fresh, that you smell right, that your clothes are clean, as are your nails and that you have means to get her information. New school: cell phone. Old school: paper and pen. Just make sure you look nice, that you know what you are going to say and how you are going to say it, as well as the impression you want to leave. Don't dally, don't stutter, don't slur, don't drool, don't fidget aimlessly and don't, WHATEVER YOU DO, don't look off into the distance during the conversation. Women don't like that.