I haven't posted in a while because I've been busy, been tired and honestly, haven't had much to say. I'm enjoying my summer, I guess, but I'm realizing that I'm starting to take mu whole independence and re-emergence as an independant woman to another level. Women typically get called bitches and mean if they exhibit the persona of someone who wants to take things to another level, expects only the best and nothing less and desires perfection, which even though it doesn't exist, should always try to be attained.
With my high expectations in mind, I've tried to start dating. Dating is interesting, because it basically is just an exercise. The guy shares a part of himself, the most impressive part, with a girl who does the same. If they like what each other has to say, usually a second date follows, where more part-sharing happens, it's just that this time, the part they share tends to be a bit more like who they are, just not as impressive as the initial date. Personally, I hate it. I think it sucks. I go on dates, and I'm who I am. What you see is exactly what you're gonna get. That's why I don't get my hair 'did' for them, i don't try to wear anything not like me, I try to be as authentic to who I am as possible...even if that means there is no second date.
Lately, I've just been blah about the whole practice, but my mom and godmom are saying, that a girl my age should date, even if I find it horrible. Have fun, they say...enjoy life. Is it bad to say that I find more fun in reading Dostoevsky than sharing a meal with some random guy, who probably, in the final analysis, probably doesn't even know who that is? That I'd rather watch movies on Turner Classic than go to some overrated, overcrowded, overpriced nightclub? That I'd rather babysit my younger cousins than sitting around "hoping" a guy will call when he says he will...which rarely happens, unless you're in a relationship and even then...cross your fingers.
Dont' get it twisted, I'm not bitter. I do eventually want Mr. Right. However, I'd rather wait for him then try to satisfy myself with a Mr. Right Now. Mr. Right's around the corner, though, I can feel it. He won't message me with three words or less, either. LOL.
XoXo,
Ashley Robin
No comments:
Post a Comment